Back in July we brought you the story of Dan Perino, a guy who had posted thousands of flyers around New York City in an attempt to find a girlfriend. According to Dan
“He decided to put up the flyers because he’s sick of sitting at his computer and staring at his phone all day. He likes being outside and feeling active. He also doesn’t want to just go to the bar scene and get girls drunk and take advantage of them. At 50, he feels too old to be living that lifestyle.”
True shit, Dan. I’m 22 and completely over the bar scene, although I’m done because I’m poor, tend to get too drunk to function in public and I’m tired of hearing “M’am you need to leave before we have security escort you out.” Like sorry my shirt somehow came off and I’m flat enough that I don’t need to wear a bra out in public, shit happens.
Well unfortunately for Dan, his flyers haven’t helped him find a girlfriend. Fortunately, his flyers have gotten him laid 118 times. So he’s still technically #foreveralone but his dick is sopping wet in pussy.
“I was getting 200-300 calls per day. I couldn’t get back to everybody, it was difficult. I’ve got back to everybody by now, there’s been over 8000 phone calls. I posted well over 40,000 flyers. I try to keep it below 14th street although I do go up to mid-town sometimes…”
“Women are actually picking up me. There’s an interview process. Even if you go on a coffee date, there’s an interview process the women does. They kind of ask you questions without you knowing … to see if you’re going to be strong enough and attractive enough to be with them there’s no such thing as men picking up women, it just doesn’t exist.”
So simple yet so effective despite not having the intended results. Now you all know: if you’re looking to get laid, lie about wanting a girlfriend and litter your college campus with flyers. Make the ad short and sweet, don’t be horrendously ugly and, oh yeah, somehow get it to go viral on the Internet. You’ll be swimming down pussy river in no time.
Here’s a pic we snapped of his flyer-ing in NYC this past summer.
[H/T Gawker]