By now you’ve probably heard the buzz about HBO’s new series Girls, created by Lena Dunham. Even still, you have no desire to watch it and hoped someone else would so you wouldn’t have to. Me too. But since I’ve been tasked with covering women, I figured a show named after their existence would be a good place to start some research. So I took one for the team. Here’s what I learned.
6 People who live off their parents money exist
The show’s main character is unemployed and living in Brooklyn, and has no issue asking mommy & daddy for more than A GRAND A MONTH to maintain her super-trendy city lifestyle. Up until now these people were like unicorns to me. Unicorns and uncircumsized penises. I’d heard they exist but had never seen one in real life. And if you’re thinking “It isn’t real life asshole, it’s a TV show,” you must not be aware of the privileged brats that comprise the cast. So… who’s the asshole now?
5 Brian Williams’ daughter is nice to look at
The news anchor’s daughter plays Marnie, and it turns out she’s really kind of hot. And in a pretty adorable way, which is cool. But then also in a rich, snobby, hatefuck kind of way, which can still sometimes be useful.
4 There are no black people in Brooklyn
Since the show is acclaimed for its “realness,” those of us who can’t afford to live in a trendy Manhattan borough can only assume that what happens on this show is what happens in Brooklyn. Gotta say, I expected a lot more minorities. And also some poor people. Then again, if they existed, this show wouldn’t. One of them would’ve murdered these uppity white girls after about 30 seconds of listening to them whine about their first world problems.
3 Girls don’t know a thing about guys
The show’s head writers are both women, and while scenes without girls are rare, they happen. And they’re awkward as hell. You know how you picture “girls night” as a naked pillow fight? Apparently girls think grown men are interested in snooping through a girl’s desk and/or journal. Or that they’d tell a virgin that being the first person to have sex with her “isn’t their thing.” Malarkey.
2 Man boobs don’t only affect men
Which is to say that Lena Dunham can be as comfortable with her body as she wants, but she should remain in a comfortable shirt. Forever. Please and thank you.
1 Some girls will let you jerk off in front of them at a really awkward time and still date you
And who knows? That piece of information might just be useful to you some day.
I want more like this!
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