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Nokia finally selling its ugly, useless luxury phone division

By 04.30.12

If you ever see a phone described as a “luxury phone,” just mentally replace it with “overpriced hideous gold-plated turd” and that tells you all you need to know about the market. Overpriced gold-plated turds are popular among the kind of people who have more wealth than sense, and want you to aggressively understand just how wealthy they are.

Nokia luxury phoneOr to make it just that much funnier when they walk into a pole while texting.

Anyway, Vertu was the market leader in the overpriced hideous gold-plated turd market, but it’s officially hitting hard times: its corporate overlord, Nokia, has realized how worthless it is and is dumping it on some VC firm.

If we sound contemptuous of Vertu, that’s because we totally are. “Luxury” phones are, without exception, under-powered, badly designed, and tacky. Vertu has the nerve to sell a “candy-bar” phone, you know, the kind of phone you had in your pocket in 2004 because you couldn’t afford a RAZR for ten thousand dollars.

Just for contrast, the iPhone, you know, a phone that’s actually technologically advanced and worth using? That costs $600 without a contract. So for the cost of fourteen iPhones, you could own a useless, ugly piece of crap!

It’s sad this was profitable enough that Nokia is only selling it now, but, hey, better late than never.

Nokia could sell luxury phone brand Vertu to VC firm [Engadget]

About Dan Seitz... Dan Seitz is a semi-professional nerd (he'll have to code a homebrew game for the NES before he goes pro). He grew up fiddling with video game systems, computers, cameras, and other technology you should never hand to an eight-year-old if you want it back in pristine condition. Currently, he lives in Boston with his girlfriend, her cat, a Shih Tzu, and far too many objects with processors.
TAGSGadgetsGadgets for menluxury phonesNokiaNokia luxury phoneripoffsvertuVertu luxury phone

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