Tag Archives: Texas

Hahahaha Texas Wants to Let People Drink at Gun Shows

What a fucking state.

Your Supermarket May Have Sold You Bull Penis Instead Of Regular Meat

And they didn't even put it on sale.

4 Things Nobody Ever Tells You About Texas

When people ask me why I didn’t go to college in Texas (a state I, incidentally, recently had tattooed on my bicep), I usually sweat

Cameron Ridley’s Layup at the Buzzer Gave Texas a Win, Devastated Arizona State’s Bench

The complexity of human emotion.

Justin Bieber’s ‘Hook ‘Em Horns’ Pic Will Send Texas Fans to an Early Grave

Nothing to say here.

Rick Perry Wants Weed Decriminalized, Which Means Marijuana Legalization Has Jumped the Shark

Pack it up, folks; it has been real. We had some fun, enjoyed some laughs, but this is the end. Rick Perry thinks weed possession decriminalized, which

Jonathan Holmes’ Sank a Gorgeous Buzzer-Beater for Texas

Texas Longhorns forward Jonathan Holmes lofted up a three-pointer as time expired last night against Kansas State. He knew it was going in and posed

Black is the New Brown, Claims Terrible Texas Longhorns Shirt

Texas Longhorns fans, how excited are you about new football coach Charlie Strong? Are you excited enough to buy season tickets? Are you excited enough

The Longhorns’ Marching Band Spelled Out ‘Mack Brown’ Last Night in Awesome Send Off

We've seen a lot of great marching band performances this year. But this was the most thoughtful. 

Very Sad Texas Fan is Very Sad

Mack Brown's 16-year tenure at Texas came to an unceremonious end last night with a 30-7 loss to Oregon in the Alamo Bowl. It was

Nice Body Paint, Texas Bro

At least he tried? I expect C- work like this from Texas A&M fans, but a UT fan? Come on, Bro....

White Man Wins Election in African-American Community by Pretending He’s Black

"Every time a politician talks, he's out there deceiving voters," Dave Wilson said of his election win.

How Bad Did Iowa State Get Screwed Last Night Against Texas?

With Mack Brown coaching for his job, Texas came from behind to beat Iowa State last night. They were greatly aided by the referees. That’s

Lewis Black and Other New Yorkers to Texas: ‘F*ck You’

Texas Governor Rick Perry has a campaign in which he tries to convince businesses from other states to take operations down to the Lonestar State.

Texas Man Gives Terrific Mug Shot After Being Arrested for Making Gun Sounds in Movie Theater

This might be my second favorite mug shot in recent memory. The first is still, and always will be, this one -- MAN. His obese non-neck

In Texas, You Can Apparently Legally Kill Escorts Who Stiff You

I've never sniffed a law school classroom, obviously, but we're either looking at the strangest interpretation of "nighttime theft" ever, or the worst prosecution team

Dad Records Massive, Chilling Fertilizer Plant Explosion In West, Texas

Absolutely devestating news in West, Texas, where a fertilizer plant exploded on Wednesday evening after a fire. Firefighters were fighting the fire at the time

Drunk Texas A&M Girls Interrupt a Live News Broadcast from the Cotton Bowl


A Guy Ran Onto the Field During the Alamo Bowl and Nobody Cared

The security at last night’s Alamo Bowl in San Antonio wasn’t exactly impressive. This joker took advantage of the moment by running on the field,

Here’s a Roadside Body Cavity Search That Royally Pissed Off Two Texas Women

It turns out that not everyone is down with that. Who knew?

Here’s Natalie Portman Looking Insanely Hot at the Texas-Baylor Game

She looks like an angel!

Crazy Texan Lynches an Empty Chair in His Front Yard, Tells Everyone and Obama ‘Go to Hell’

It all started out with a chair being lynched in Bud Johnson's front yard. Then on Wednesday, the Burnt Orange Report contacted him claiming that

Behold! A $60 Million High School Football Stadium in Texas Is Ready for Action

Turns out $60 million dollars in public money buys you a whole lot of high school football stadium in Allen, Texas. Specifically, 18,000-seats (hey, they have 8,000

Insane Lawyer Has Made the Greatest Lawyer Commercial Ever

This Adam Reposa guy is 100% a legit lawyer -- a criminal defense attorney to be exact -- and he's OUT OF HIS F*CKING MIND.

University of Texas Offering a Pubic Affairs Degree

Oh boy. This is a hairy situation. Those attending this weekend’s commencement at the University of Texas’ School of Public Affairs were privy to a

University of Texas Student Hit By Bus, Gives Zero F*cks

When you wake up hungover tomorrow and feel like you’ve been hit by a bus, then you’ll have a little compassion for University

Mike Napoli Taped a Tornado For You

A series of tornadoes were spotted in the Dallas area an hour or so ago, including one that damaged buildings on the ground. Texas Rangers

Watch The CEO of a Bullet-Proof Glass Company Test His Product By Getting Shot At By an AK-47

The Texas Armoring Corporation is apparently a world-wide leader in bulletproofing cars and creating armored cash-in-transit vehicles (I'm particularly fond of their "armored

Texas Neighborhood Furious About Statue Of David in Front Lawn

A new resident moved into a neighborhood in Abilene, Texas and decided to decorate his front yard with a miniature replica of Michelangelo's Statue of

VIDEO: Fort Worth Illuminated By Pretty Lights From Exploding Transformers

On Tuesday night a lightning storm in Fort Worth, Texas sparked a chain reaction of exploding transformers. According to the Star-Telegram, the freak storm caused

VIDEO: Fat Ho Burger Opens in Waco, Texas

Waco, Texas has a new lunch joint and it's called "Fat Ho Burger." It's menu of grilled delecies include Sloppy Ho Brisket, the Supa Dupa

VIDEO: Pearland HS Pulls Off Ballsy Trick Play in Texas High School State Football Championship

If you've watched "Friday Night Lights," you understand the gravity of high school football in the Lonestar State; it ranks somewhere below cancer and delicious

Check Out This Parking Lot Brawl at a Texans-Cowboys Tailgate

Sadly, this week we've failed in our journalistic mission to bring you the very best fan fights from the wide world of sports. Until now.