Tag Archives: Criminals

Criminal Has Name Which Expresses How We All Feel When We Get Arrested

Not ironic, actually.

Handcuffed Man High on Meth Shoots Cops With Gun Hidden in Butt

What would you do in that situation?

This Kid’s Dick Was So Big It Landed Him In Jail

Clearly size does matter.

Aaron Hernandez Now Indicted for a 2012 Double Murder

More bad news.

Drunk Woman Shows Up Completely Naked to Visit Jailed Husband

Maura Fussell's husband was arrested Saturday afternoon, after drinking all night in Clarendon, Virginia.

Holy Crap! This Footage of a Man Carjacking Three Rides in a Minute is ‘The Fast & The Furious’ IRL

A Dom Toretto wannabe.

Man Wearing Only Thong Stole Batman Costume, Pranced Around, Police Say

na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na PANTIES

‘We’re on a High Speed Chase, Motherfucker’: Woman on Meth Steals Police Car, Dash Cam Records Her

Her name is Tara Axmaker and she fancies herself as some kind of motherfucking outlaw in Clackamas County, Oregon. Axmaker has been arrested over ten times,

This Dude’s Mug Shot Gives Miley Cyrus a Run for Her Money on Creepiest Tongue Photo of the Year

If that's not the most "Hey, baby girl, let me lick on that pussy" face I've ever seen, I don't know what is. I should

Unlucky Guy With AK-47 Tattoo Keeps Getting Charged With Shootings

Lots of people claim to not give a damn. This guy right here DOES NOT GIVE A DAMN.

Texas Bro Busted For Staging His Own Kidnapping So He Could Party With His Friends

Rogelio Andaverde LIKES TO PARTY. So much so that he was arrested for staging his own kidnapping so he could party with friends. Why would anyone

Former High School Football Player Shows At Coach’s House, Tries to Bite Off an Ear

This guy really knows how to hold a grudge.

Some Human Stain Vandalized the Lincoln Memorial

America has a new public enemy. When we find this guy, it’s curtains.

Here’s Aaron Hernandez Holding What Appears to Be a Gun Right After Odin Lloyd’s Murder

Guys, I am starting to think Aaron Hernandez is not the smartest person to ever walk this earth.

Here Are 7 Compelling Last Words from Death Row Offenders Right Before Execution

Very interesting stuff here. As a great treat to all, the Texas Department of Criminal Justice keeps a public online record of executed Death Row offenders--complete

Here’s a Picture of Aaron Hernandez Holding a Gun

Thinking critically, this 2009 picture of Aaron Hernandez taking a selfie while holding a gun shouldn’t really change the way the public views the now-incarcerated

10 Really Odd Last Meals Eaten by Inmates on Death Row

A while ago Reggie Noble and I listed our last meals should we ever find ourselves on death row...for crimes we didn't commit, obviously. Today,

‘Girls Gone Wild’ Founder Joe Francis Convicted of Assault, False Imprisonment

What a shocker. He seemed like such a nice guy.

14-Year-Old Bro Hires Hooker, She Pepper-Sprays Him and Steals His Piggy Bank

Ah, this poor dude. All he wanted to do was get his rocks off with a possibly clean hooker and all he got was heartache

Store Owner Gets Shot and Still Fights Off Two Gunmen With a Baseball Bat

How is this guy not dead? The gunmen shot at him a combined 10 times from less than 5ft away and the best they could

Former Tennessee Politician Arrested For Masturbating Out Car Window While Car Was Moving

This is not a story from The Onion. This is a story about a real-life jerk off artist, a master of the ancient craft. Former

Penis-Drawing Prank on Passed-Out Friend Predictably Ends in Assault Charge

Oh, don’t be a baby about it, dude.

Woman Steals Nearly $500,000 in Jewelry from Shaun Rogers After Hanging Out in His Hotel Room

Being a professional athlete is hard. For instance, you can’t even bring a random chick home without worrying about her taking off with all your

Detroit Brothers Dig Up Dead Father in Hopes of Miracle Resurrection

These dudes are eternal optimists.

The Guy Caught Having Sex With an Abandoned Couch Will Plead Guilty

He’s put the couch through enough.

Taco Bell Employee Handcuffs Self to Co-Worker to Get a Date, Will Be in Jail For a Long Time

A bold strategy. A bold strategy that no one should ever try because it’s insane.

Parents Won’t Let You Surf The Web? Feed Them a Drug-Filled Milkshake

Think you have an Internet addiction? Your problem is small potatoes next to this.

‘Twilight’ Actor Bronson Pelletier Pisses All Over Airport Floor in Hilarious Home Movie

We’ve all had a little too much to drink at an airport while waiting for a flight. Few, if any of us, have gotten so

3 Canadians Busted for Stealing $20 Million Worth of Maple Syrup

This is the quintessential Canadian story.

Authorities Foil Devilish Plot to Castrate and Kill Justin Bieber at Madison Square Garden

Clearly not the brainchild of a stable human mind.

Woman Arrested For Hiding 3 Pounds of Cocaine in Her Voluptuous Breasts

Idiot. They’re ALWAYS going to look there.

Wrigleyville Bar Stabbing Suspect Literally Can’t Keep His Sh*t Together

Some TBOX bar crawls get weird, some get downright violent, and others make you question the true nature of man’s existence.

Central Michigan Girl Allegedly Poisoned Her Roommate Over a Dishes Dispute

Think you have bad roommates? Your roommates are sweet and angelic compared to Kayla Ashlyn Bonkowski.

Woman Fails to Have Orgasm, Beats Her Man to a Pulp

Police say alcohol MAY have been a factor.

Case Closed: 911 Caller Who Claimed to Trap Burglar in Box Was Just Really Wasted

When will we ever learn to accept crazy drunks at their word? When will the discrimination end?

If You Don’t Tip the Pizza Guy, He’ll Piss All Over Your Door

Do not mess with pizza delivery guys. They don’t take rejection well.

Insane Dude Fights With Police, Eats Own Finger While High on PCP

Don’t do drugs unless you want to be the subject of hilarious headlines.

Man Tries to Steal From 7-Eleven, Store’s Employees Beat Him, Bite Him, and Strip Him of His Clothes

No lie, he tried to steal a Snicker's bar from a 7-Eleven in Brooklyn. Instead, they stole his dignity. 

Bus Driver, Passenger From Epic Bus Uppercut Video Face Serious Criminal Charges

The Uppercut Heard ‘Round the World will have consequences for each party involved.

Ukrainian Guy Goes on 50-Day Bender, Freaks the Hell Out on Delta Flight

Impressive drinking campaign, less than impressive riding-on-a-plane-without-trying-to-kill-everyone skills. Can’t win them all.