reality hellspawn

Watch North West Get Dragged Through An Airport On A Suitcase And Cry That You’re Too Fat And Old To Do That

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In no particular order, I hate: babies, vegetables, traffic on the Capital Beltway and that thing where you’re hungry and sleepy at the same time but don’t know which one to fix first.

dumb crime

Check Out This Idiotic Murder Contract Written By A 14-Year-Old To Get His Classmate To Kill His Family

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When I’m looking to have my entire family senselessly murdered and staged as a burglary gone wrong the first place I turn to is Craigslist.

kids

This 7-Year-Old Was Told To Draw What He’d Look Like In 100 Years, So He Drew Himself As A Pimp

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Now I'm clearly not a parent and hopefully will never be one (no really, I would just spawn Satan children and I'm not mentally equipped to deal with that), but if my kids ever came home with a self-portrait of them as a pimp in 100 years I'd be proud as hell.

kids

This Little Kid Gave The Most Weirdly Mature Answer To A Girl Asking ‘Do You Like Me’ And It Makes Me Wanna Barf

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Children exist for the sole purpose of amusing old fuddy-duddy adults with their queer hijinks and “unique” way of looking at the world.

photobombs

The Best Accidental Photobomb Of The Year Involves Some Guy’s Dick And An Unaware Couple At A Restaurant

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Intentional photobombs are fun, sure…but the unintentional ones are where the gold is really at.

kids

This Little Bro Is The Best Dancer You’ll Ever See If ‘Best Dancer’ Meant ‘Really Good At Humping The Ground’

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Normally when it comes to watching people dance craptastically I'd sit here and make fun of them, but today is going to be different.

play doh

This NSFW Video Is Of A Little Girl Who Made A ‘Dolphin On Wheels’ Out Of Play-Doh…Or Is It A Throbbing Green Cock?

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Little kids are beautifully innocent and naive creatures who don't know the difference between a giant purple dildo and a lightsaber, which typically leads to them running around swinging their mom's dildo throughout the house screaming about how the force is with them.


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