I tell ya, no one can spin a story like Taiwanese animators. They really dive into their work and when they finally come up for air, they've magically produced something that a rational person could accept as the correct series of events. Right down to the leprechauns force-feeding alcohol into his asshole, this animation might be the closest we ever get to the truth of what really went down between Manti Te'o and his fictitious dead lover, Lennay Kekua.

I was going to end this post after my high praise of the Taiwanese, but I can't because I'm still dumbfounded, and slightly outraged, that anyone in his position and college social standing would give up innumerable amounts of vaginal intercourse with the willing chicks at Notre Dame to listen to a dying chick (that he never met) breathe on the other end of the phone every night. Who among us actually believes that? I sure as shit can't, but that's the story we are now being sold. And to me, it seems conveniently incomplete. 

Also, I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when they ordered the code red on Lennay. How did that all shake out? There is so much missing to this story, like why she had to get hit by a car or even die. Seems unnecessary when she could have just, ya know, dumped him. And when the mastermind behind this hoax decided she had to perish how did they settle on leukemia? Did they put a bunch of diseases on a Wheel-of-Fortune-type wheel-of-death and leukemia hit? I want answers goddammit.