Two of the most dynamic personalities in sports, Cristiano Ronaldo and Ray Hudson were in top form during Real Madrid’s 4-1 win over Atletico Madrid this afternoon. The soccer star authored three spectacular goals and the overly excited commentator authored one of the most sexually suggestive calls of all time.

Whet your appetite with Ronaldo’s second goal, seen above. It was a tremendous run-of-play bender that snaked its way into the goal and proved to be the game-winner.

Exciting? Sure. But I bet you’re not as excited as Hudson, who described Ronaldo’s first goal, a dramatic free kick seen here, thusly: “Are you kidding me? Astonishing! It’s not just a dream, it’s a wet dream of orgasmic proportions. This one deludes everybody. It seduces everybody in Real Madrid’s fan club, that’s for sure.”