The Rugby World Cup, as I'm told by this video, is starting soon and it's six weeks long. New Zealand powerhouse the All Blacks (think that name would ever fly in the US of A?) made a video encouraging its fans to abstain from sex for the entire World Cup in support of the team. Surely, this is a joke. Ad wizards just pushing the male button. I'll take a hard look in the mirror, though. I could never see a commitment like this through. I wouldn't even take six weeks off from sex or skipping the occasional beat if it meant that I could sweep all this Miami controversy under the rug forever.

Hell, I don't think I could do 6 sexless/c*mless/lifeless weeks to bring that entire Marshall football team back from the dead. I mean, I could do it. I might fire a few accidental rounds in my sleep, but my selfish and eternal argument not to is: I could die tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that, or 5 weeks and 6 days from now -- which would be the single greatest tragedy in the history of my life. Stuck in the goddamn ground for all eternity... with a full f*ckin' clip. But hey, maybe I'm wrong? Maybe saving a few lives and being the king shit at the Bukake parties in the afterlife is a better outcome. That's how it works, right? 

Whatever the joke in this video is supposed to be, it's lost on the good people of New Zealand. According to Out of Bounds, ad man David Walden said "the campaign is rubbish and unfortunate. I think there are two things in New Zealand that are pretty sacrosanct. One are the All Blacks and the other’s sex. And when you’re trying to link those two things together and put a big corporate like Telecom alongside it, whilst we kind of get the joke, I think it’s a bad joke and I think it’s flopped.”