Whether we like it or not, Christmas is upon us. The trees are being lit, people are fighting over $2 waffle irons, radio stations are forcing awful music down our throats, and my family is receiving Christmas cards with photos of kids I've never seen before. Those are indeed Christmas traditions, along with the most storied tradition of all: making a Christmas list. Little boys and girls across the world are scribbling down their favorite video games or toys in hopes that Santa (or their overworked parents) leaves it under the tree come Christmas morning. Here at BroBible, I've developed my own list, and it's not a list you want to be on.
In fact this list is something most athletes and teams try desperately to avoid: the naughty list. Teams in sports who haven't been very good this year — for being too cocky, abusing their fans, or covering up child abuse — all qualify. Without further ado, here is this year's list of sports teams on Santa's Naughty List.
Got a team I missed? Hit me up on Twitter, and kindly remind me.
Just think, I thought them leaving the Big East was the worst thing they'd do this year. Boy was I wrong....
The University of Miami Football
How's the song go? "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He's knows if you take cash or hookers....
Ohio State Football
Let me get this straight: if you commit all sorts of violations, have players suspended, and deal with a media shit storm you eventually get Urban Meyer to coach your team?
"Dream team" is what Vince Young infamously responded to reporters when asked how well his squad would do this season. In actuality, they were a dream team to Philly haters who enjoy nothing more then watching the Eagles lose. Over the course of the year, Vick got hurt, DeSean Jackson slept through a team meeting and is still unhappy with his contract, and fans grew to hate Andy Reid. So much for the city of brotherly love. The fact is The Birds stand a putrid 4-8 with inexcusable losses to Arizona and Seattle, wrecking countless survivor knockout pools along the way. This team is just not that good, and may never be what it was expected to be.
As Jonah Hill once said in "Superbad," "People don't forget." LBJ, Wade, Bosh.... we haven't forgot about your "championships" and neither has Santa.
New York Mets
In no shape or form is this statement even a slight exaggeration: The 2012 New York Mets will be unwatchable. The most exciting player that's ever graced Queens in the last six decades is now wearing another team's jersey. Making it worse, is it's the jersey of a team in the Mets' division. And to top it off, the Mets received a supplemental draft pick for him, when if they traded him in July they would have gotten more. The only thing that could even bring people to the ballpark is David Wright, and they have to trade him so they at least get something in return. Mets fans are a group that's suffered for a long time so they've seen bad teams before, but it's truly unfair that the Wilpons' monstrous financial screw up has set up such a horrible future.
Boston Red Sox
It's one thing to lose, it's another to lose because you are too busy drinking beers, eating chicken, and playing video games.
They were once a feel-good story, now they are a complete pack of assholes. Personal fouls, crashed cars, coach trying to fight other coaches, and suspensions. I'm not saying some of this behavior isn't acceptable... it just isn't acceptable for teams who haven't been good in the last four presidential terms.
This one's on the fans. Every fan-base suffers a heartbreaking loss. Fans know them like they know their own phone numbers, and honor them like battle scars. Tales of blown leads, fumbles, strikeouts, and awful play calling are shared over and over. We all go through these losses. But though we may get pissed or drunk, we wake up tomorrow and root for a great off-season. Not so much in Vancouver. Apparently, a tough loss for them means a riot. Inexplicably stupid and unnecessary if you ask me.
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