Do Workout Supplements Actually Give You Ball Cancer?

This week protein pounding bros around the country got some really bad news. A recent study found a relationship between muscle building supplements and ball cancer. Or for the more highbrow crowd, testicular cancer.

This is serious business. Testicular cancer is no joke. I work very hard to guard my balls. This is why I don’t date crazy girls, and wear an industrial strength jock strap and cup 24/7. I don’t want to mess around with anything that could mess with my balls.

The media being the level headed, calm, and ration conglomerate that it is took a very measured approach to these findings in their reporting.

HAHAHAHAHA.

Sites all over the web started reporting that supplements doubled the risk of ball cancer, that creatine was cancer in powder form, and protein was a quick way to get your balls amputated. Not just plain ol blogs either. Major sites like The Washington Post and Newsweek reported on supplements and wrote them off as cancer in a canister.

Here’s the truth: it isn’t that simple.

The good folks over at Examine.com, easily the best site for non-biased supplement and nutrition knowledge, took an in depth look at the ball cancer study. What they found could hardly be considered proof of creatine causing cancer.

For those too lazy to click on the link, here’s a quick breakdown:

  • The researchers took the supplement labels for their word, something supplement companies aren’t actually regulated to tell the truth about. Any company could slip in hidden powders/products, and not claim it on the label.
  • The study was based on questionnaire results from participants about supplement usage – generally not the best way to make sure 100% accurate info is received. I can’t even remember what I ate for breakfast last Thursday, who knows what these people could remember.
  • The study did show correlation, which is far different than causation.

People who get science boners talk all the time about correlation vs. causation. In the health and fitness field, this is particularly evident. Fitness professionals jerk each other off all day debating correlation vs. causation. Mainly because there’s a new study coming out every week that correlates something to cancer, AIDS, death, or limp dick.

Correlation means there’s a relationship between two things, but no direct cause has been show. Absurd correlations can be found everywhere. Some of my favorites:

  • When ice cream sales increase, so do murders.
  • When organic food sales increase, do does autism.
  • Living in a poor country increases penis size.
  • Using Internet Explorer leads to murder.*

*This is probably true. It blows my mind people still put up with Internet Explorer. Those who do probably do get so frustrated they just have to murder someone.

Correlations can be found between all sorts of different things, and some sort of relationship might exist – even if the two are completely unrelated. That doesn’t mean one directly causes the other, and the same can be said about muscle building supplements and testicular cancer.

This study will probably lead to quite a few more coming out to investigate the relationship between the two, which is a good thing. I want to keep my balls, and your balls, safe. Until anything definite comes out, don’t worry about creatine or protein bro’s. Your balls will be just fine.

Tanner is a fitness professional and writer based in the metro Atlanta area. His training focus is helping normal people drop absurd amounts of fat, become strong like bull, and get in the best shape of their life.