The 5 Things We Learned During Week Two Of The NFL

Week 2 of the NFL Season saw the league as a whole take a MAJOR hit to its policies and credibility. Adrian Peterson was deactivated for the Vikings-Pats game after being charged with reckless or negligent injury toward a child. Panthers defensive end Greg Hardy was deactivated just about 90 minutes before the Panthers-Lions game by Panthers Owner Jerry Richardson….don‘t feel too bad for Hardy though, he still collected a game check of $770,558.

Though the NFL is going through an image crisis right now, fans will still tune in. What? Do you think we’d actually dedicate a WHOLE Sunday to NASCAR on ESPN? Here are 5 things we learned week 2 of the NFL season.

1. Robert Griffith III is a BUST

You remember that one cousin that you had growing up that couldn’t seem to get his shit together? You know the one who had the rich parents but somehow this guy always found himself in trouble but then every fall promised to turn things around by taking three classes at a community college (sort of like a Jesse Pinkman character from Breaking Bad, if you will).

That troubled cousin is RGIII. We want to like him, we really do, but this guy has gotten injured more than Robert Griffith one and two COMBINED. In Sunday’s game against the Jaguars, Griffith dislocated his ankle and is likely out for the season. Griffith is only 24 but his career seems about as long as a Christian Slater TV series (see The Forgotten and Mind Games).

The Redskins invested a TON of draft picks and cash into RGIII, but the silver lining of this colossal bust is the play of Kirk Cousins. The Redskins drafted both RGIII and Cousins in the same year…and now that decision looks pretty good.

2. Chargers Answer LOUDLY

After the Chargers lost by a point to the Cardinals last week it was interesting to see how the team would respond by facing the defending Super Bowl Champs at home. The Chargers responded with 3 Antonio Gates touchdown receptions and a defense that didn’t let up on Russell Wilson all day long.

I love Phillip Rivers. He’s got the most awkward throwing motion since Bernie Kosar and has the look of a spoiled frat kid whose parents still send him money for meals. This team looks tough though. 34 year-old Tight End Antonio Gates proved he still a force to be reckoned with. I really want Rivers to have a great southern nickname but falling short on ideas. The Crawfish Cannon? The Alabama Wild Child? Jay Cutler’s Bane? Open to suggestions.

3. Packers and Patriots Bounce Back

Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady made sure their teams weren’t starting 0-2. Though the Jets gave Rodgers and the Packers a definite run for their money, Jordy Nelson put up a Caucasian career-high 209 receiving yards. Nelson is quicker than a hiccup and with Wes Welker currently out on suspension, Jordy Nelson is the receiver who is proving that white man CAN jump, catch, run…and do the Lambeau Leap.

As for the Patriots, they gave the Vikings an Adrian Peterson style-whooping. Don’t mess with America! Or Tom Brady’s perfectly symmetrical face.

4. Browns Win! Against Saints?!

So are the Browns good or are the Saints that bad? Probably a combination of both. The Browns moved their offense effectively without their best receiver (Josh Gordon), tight end (Jordan Cameron) and running back (Ben Tate). The Browns had a stingy defense led by pressure up front from Paul Kruger and Karlos Dansby along with great poise and leadership from Quarterback Brian Hoyer. Oh and Johnny Manziel came in for three plays that nobody cared about.

Where do the Saints go from here? 0-2 teams statistically have a very low chance of making the playoffs but with Drew Brees and Sean Payton there is always a chance. The Saints running game looked tough and Jimmy Graham made Joe Haden look silly, but the defense is the question mark that remains.

I absolutely love Rob Ryan because of his hair and gut (he looks like Thor’s grandpa or something), but something needs to happen soon. Drew Brees isn’t getting any younger and his forehead isn’t getting any lower.

5. The Bills are 2-0?!

This is a tough one to digest. Most of us thought EJ Manuel was a bust and that Doug Marrone would have the coaching life of Steve Spurrier when he was with the Redskins. The Bills look tough though, the defense is dominant, Manuel looks poised and CJ Spiller is running the ball with purpose.

I can’t really get TOO excited about this though. A few years ago this team started I think 5-0 under Ryan Fitzpatrick. Midway through the season we’ll re-evaluate the Bills…if Jon Bon Jovi had bought the team you know this season would already be over.

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