As the NFL regular season approaches and players prepare to don their pads, sharpen their skills, and fight for a roster spot, fantasy football players don their lucky draft day boxers, sharpen their pencils, and fight amongst one another over what kicker is going to have a breakout season. Fantasy football is hard to explain to an outsider but join a league and prepare to introduce yourself to these types of misfits.
Photo credit: Beth and Christian, Flickr
8 The Homer
This owner will go out of his way to take players from his personal favorite team. They can justify every pick in their own mind but when they tell you that this is going to be Edgerrin James’ comeback year, you’re best to just let him waste his third round pick.
7 The No-Show
It doesn’t matter how dedicated he is to the league before the draft or how many times he tells you he’s excited; this guy isn’t coming to the draft. In fact, he is never going to check his team. Have fun watching some stud running back that got auto-drafted to him run amuck on the league as he sits on this person’s bench.
6 Everyone’s A Sleeper Guy
Every year there are new players that break out suddenly that no one expected. Part of the draft in fantasy football is to snatch up the next big star in the late rounds. But to this guy, every player could be a sleeper. You’re best to just let him scour the depth charts of teams while you stick to players not on the practice squad.
5 Overly Trusting, Gullible Friend
You almost feel bad for this guy, but it’s so damn funny to watch him draft Mike Vanderjagt in the second round because you told him that kickers are going to have a huge impact this season.
4 The Girl
No one is really sure how or why she ended up in the league, but she’s there. Let’s be honest, the whole situation is kind of awkward. You and your guys are at your nerdiest while this poor girl has stumbled into your den. Your male instincts are giving mixed messages. On one hand, you should impress her, help her win, maybe even throw your game against her. On the other, she is the opposition and must be destroyed. The choice is yours, until you find out it’s your buddy’s girlfriend and that extra loss you took against her cost you a playoff birth. Now you’re lonely and a loser. But then again, you’re playing fantasy football after all.
3 The Second-Guesser
There is no decision that is black and white for this player. There are just too many choices to be made and not enough time to process every wide receivers’ average yards after the catch in games played outdoors on artificial turf in the month of December (the ever important AYACIGPOOATITMOD stat). More than likely his time will expire while he’s processing his draft pick and the computer will just pick for him.
2 Researched Too Much
There are hundreds upon thousands of sources for fantasy football information that one can seek out, and this guy has found it all. He’ll come into the season with a plethora of knowledge from the stack of magazines he bought, the mock draft program he downloaded, and twenty different bookmarks of player ratings ordered from most to least likely to produce a championship team.
1 The Filler
Almost every league has one whether it plans on it or not. There’s one person that has a team but isn’t sure why or what to do with it. They more than likely were brought in by another league member just to round out the league. Odds are this person isn’t even really sure what they signed up for in the first place.
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