“Hello, friends.” DRINK!
Did a fan just yell “get in the hole!”, “you da man!” or “mashed potatoes!”? If yes, then DRINK
Did Jim Nantz just refer to the Masters as “A Tradition Unlike Any Other”? If so…DRINK
Did Nick Faldo just decided to start living in the past and talk about his playing days and/or Masters' victories? DRINK
Oh look, it's Snoopy One. DRINK
Is the camera man zoning in on a golf WAG or just a hot spectator with huge tits? Either way… DRINK
An Eagle was made or we were just reminded of Louis Oosthuizen's albatross from last year… DRINK
Did you just see this picture? If so, DRINK
How about this one? Yep, DRINK
Have we just been reminded Bubba Watson hooked a gap wedge 7,000 yards last year to win? DRINK
Anytime someone mentions how this might be Lee Westwood or Luke Donald's year, DRINK
Someone gets a hole-in-one. DRINK… and by drink we mean shotgun at least two beers.
Just reminded that Feddy Couples and Jim Nantz were college roommates? DRINK
Well if it isn't a clip of Phil's amazing shot from the pine-straw… DRINK
TAKE A SHOT of the hairiest shit you own every time there is a severe meltdown or disgusting shank. Take two if it happens on Amen Corner.
Anytime Tiger stops his swing in mid-downswing because a photographer took a photo — to the amazement of everyone who has seen him do it 1,000 times before. DRINK
Did an announcer just refer to a hole as “dog-leg right” or a “dog-leg left”? DRINK… but only if your penis hangs the way that was mentioned. If you don't have a dog-leg, drink for that fact alone and then make anyone with a pinis in the room a roast beef sandwich.
And finally, anytime someone drops one of the famed Masters words: Magnolia Lane, Butler Cabin, Rae's Creek, Hogan's Bridge, Amen Corner, Eisenhower Tree… DRINK
Also, Don't Forget to Enter Our Masters Week Golf Giveaways:
[Drinking image via ShutterStock]