by J. Camm on August 19, 2013

This is the exact reason I refuse to submit my application to Big Brother. I wouldn't have a racism highlight reel like this year's contestants (JC doesn't see race), and I don't even pick my nose a lot, but sometimes you have to get after it and I couldn't repress that urge for three months or “pretend” I was taking a dump every time I needed to dig. Also, farting. I don't fart all day or anything, but when my lower intestine is bad, it's like nothing the American public has ever seen.