There’s so much sexual innuendo in golf, that its hard not to fantasize about sex. You use your driver to smash your balls into a hole. You keep your head down and spread your legs as you grip it and rip it. You play with threesomes and foursomes and after 18 holes you can barely walk. You swing your wood and hope you don’t rim the holes. You stroke your shaft and there’s ballwashers everywhere. And sometimes you only have enough time to play the back side. How fucking horny were people when they coined this vernacular? So its no surprise that people are banging all over golf courses with all that sex talk on the greens.
Golf Digest recently invited 1,000 golf enthusiasts to take an online survey. Nearly all of the participants were men and 60 percent were between the ages of 24-44. They presented the findings of their very racy survey in their August issue.
When asked if they had ever had sex on a golf course, an astounding 33 percent of respondents said that they had indeed fucked on the links. Guess it’s not the bentgrass that’s causing your ball to slow to a halt.
Of the 33 percent that have sex on the grounds, “two-thirds of our respondents have had sex on the course multiple times. Twelve percent say they’re in double digits.” Do they consider fucking themselves with a bad putt as sex?
I have to imagine that people are inflating their responses and egos. Because I can’t see that one out of every three golfers is nut-deep in gash behind a tree on the 11th hole.
Unless.
Dammit Tiger, how many times did you respond to this survey?