The Sh*ttiest Things That Happened In Football This Week

We all love football season for different reasons, but the crazy shit that happens throughout the season isn’t always one of those, as players remind us that they aren’t always perfect—even if we assume they can do no wrong.

With as much stuff going on—including a play that I’ve never seen before—here are the shittiest things that happened in both college and pro football. Crack a beer and try to erase the memory of these moments, bros.

So much crazy shit happened this week in football that I almost lost my mind. From field goal kickers forgetting how to do their jobs to dumbass penalties and questionable calls, if you didn’t lose your voice from screaming at the TV already, you’ll pull out some hair over the frustration of these things that occurred in both college and pro football.

6. Nick Chubb’s Nasty Knee Injury

Even if you’re not a Georgia Bulldogs fan, seeing the team’s star running back, Nick Chubb, go down with a gruesome knee injury had to nearly bring you to barfing all over your living room—then again, maybe I just have a weak stomach.

Rivaling former Louisville Cardinals men’s hoops player Kevin Ware’s brutal injury from a few years ago, Chubb’s knee didn’t just buckle—it COMPLETELY bent in a way that that body part aren’t supposed to bend.

A potential Heisman Trophy candidate and future first-round pick in the NFL, this is the second season in a row that a top rusher from the Dawgs has gone down with a blown knee—with Chubb joining Todd Gurley’s torn ACL from last season.

5. Kirk Cousins’ Game-Ending Pick-Six

Seeing as how the Washington Redskins have been as dysfunctional as any football team on the planet since about early-August, I’m pretty shocked to see that this is the first time, that I recall, them ending up on a weekly shittiest things list.

Don’t worry, they really earned this one, too.

Just when Skins fans thought that, yes, there was a sliver of hope that they would beat the undefeated Atlanta Falcons on Sunday, quarterback Kirk Cousins decided to crush their dreams, throwing a mistimed, wounded duck in overtime that was intercepted by Falcons cornerback Robert Alford—who took it to the house for the game-winning touchdown.

There are some really bad ways to lose in football—and tossing a pick-six less than three minutes into OT is definitely high on that list.

4. Bret Bielema Takes A Flop

ESPN

I’ll just go ahead and reserve judgement of Arkansas head coach Brett Bielema but… actually, fuck that, the guy appears to be somewhat of a crook.

After getting in a war of words a couple weeks ago with opposing head coach Kliff Kingsbury, Bielema may have outdone himself this past weekend while playing Alabama on the road.

Hoping for an upset—which would be HUGE in helping him keep his job at season’s end—Bielema pulled an acting job that would make Leonardo DiCaprio fucking proud, flopping backwards as if he were taking a charge in the NBA, drawing a flag from the official.

That wasn’t the end of it, though, as the Razorbacks head coach was seen celebrating once the laundry was thrown to give his team a free 15 yards, clapping as if to say, “I fucking tricked you, ref.”

Keep it fucking classy, Bret, you just pulled a quick one.

3. That Time A Washington Redskins Player Got Hurt Celebrating An Opponent’s Missed Field Goal

I’ve got to hand it to the Redskins and the team’s players—for not showing up once before in this weekly column, they really took advantage of their shitty opportunities this weekend.

With Atlanta Falcons kicker Matt Bryant lining up for a field goal attempt, Skins player Trenton Robinson was just inches away from blocking the thing—which may or may not have affected Bryant into missing. Robinson thought so highly of his near block that he did what most players would do, celebrate with his teammates.

Of course, in doing so, the backup safety came down awkwardly and, appeared to, tweak something in his knee, limping off the field and missing the next defensive series.

He did return, but, c’mon, man, haven’t other players getting hurt while celebrating given you enough reason NOT to do this?

2. UCF’s Kick Return Ends In A Safety

This is up for debate, but UCF’s kick return against UConn on Saturday might have been the absolute dumbest play of the college football season—and that’s saying a lot.

With return man Hayden Jones catching a kickoff in the end zone, he had a brainfart and crossed the goal-line, meaning he was now forced to go forward, not backwards.

Oh, but Jones didn’t do that, as he thought he took a few steps back into his end zone and kneeled down, leading to a safety for the Huskies without much work at all.

For the Golden Knights—who dropped to 0-6 on the season and have local bars giving away free beer until they actually win—this just about sums up their entire season. Shitty. Really, fucking, shitty.

1. Rutgers’ Quarterback Spikes The Ball On Fourth-Down

Here’s a simple description of my reaction after seeing what Rutgers quarterback Chris Laviano did after spiking the ball to stop the clock during the last 10 seconds of a game against Michigan State: facepalm.

Needing a late miracle to tie the No. 3 Spartans, the Scarlet Knights lost in absolute depressing fashion, with Laviano forgetting what down it was and losing the game for his squad, resulting in a turnover on downs and giving the ball back to Sparty.

The signal-caller has to be still be kicking himself in the head for the blunder—even after hearing his head coach come to his defense and take the blame.

Bros, how in the hell does something like this happen?