You’ve got to be kidding me. There is no way this is real life.

Just look at this picture of New York Jets coach Rex Ryan lounging shirtless while vacationing in the Bahamas. He … has … a tattoo of his wife wearing nothing but a Mark Sanchez jersey. And … is … is she also Tebowing?

What in the fuck is going on here?

We don’t really know.

Ryan cursed out a News reporter who approached the controversial coach.

“Oh, s---,” Ryan said, waving off the reporter and storming away with his wife.

I want to take this news behind a middle school and get it pregnant. That’s how much I love finding out that the whole foot-fetish thing isn’t even the weirdest part of Ryan’s personal life.

The Jets have officially become the first-ever no-ring circus.

[H/T: New York Daily News]