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7 Exciting New Careers for Ray Lewis to Explore After the Super Bowl

By / 01.22.13

What else do you call it when Jacoby Jones somehow finds a way behind the Denver Broncos’ secondary with elimination almost inevitable? How else do you explain Baltimore coming from behind against New England on Sunday, breaking a streak of 67 consecutive games Tom Brady’s won at Foxboro when leading at halftime.

Lewis is a study in dichotomy. He’s as revered as he is loathed. His on-field talents are sometimes overshadowed by his off-field transgressions. His self-proclaimed humility is belied by his constant need for attention and camera awareness.

Within hours of announcing the end of his playing career, Lewis had an offer to join ESPN as a talking head. The worldwide leader apparently won the bidding war for the energetic madman’s talents, which are in high demand.

All of the recent attention to Lewis and his larger-than-life personality got us wondering what other jobs he could jump into seamlessly when he’s done bashing in quarterbacks.

One thing’s for sure: he’s got a bright, bright future – in whatever he decides to do.

Preacher
And not the small-town kind — the multi-million dollar kind with all sorts of big screen televisions and stuff. The dude is basically holding a church service out there anyway, from the pregame prayer to the midgame prayer to the postgame prayer. He’d also get to keep working on Sundays. A sense of normalcy is important, you guys.

Makeup Artist
For a man’s man, Lewis probably knows a shitload about face paint. Here’s the look he presents the world. Let’s just say that it’s not subtle.

Tell me you wouldn’t go see a show on Broadway where he was in charge of dolling up the performers. You can’t. You love Broadway shows. Admit it.

Subway Breakdancer
When someone interrupts my miserable commute to perform for money, my level of indifference escalates to historic levels. But I think if Lewis got on my train and started busting out some of his famous moves, I’d be inclined to pay attention. He’d probably make a decent living, too, what with the intimidation and all.

Lawyer
It’s probably important for him to pay his good fortune forward at some point.

Television Producer
I don’t know if I have ever seen an athlete more acutely aware of how to get his face on television. It’s pretty uncanny. Lewis would be a monster in the production truck, just capturing all the great moments in manipulated emotion.

Politician
He’s being lauded as a saint and is a media darling. Somehow he’s reconstructed his image in the wake of scandal. He would fit right in among the political ranks. And we’ve learned anything from “The Wire,” Baltimore is a seedy, seedy place. Advantage: Ray.

Mentor
It seems like every single young player to come into the NFL heaps praise upon Ray Ray and his guidance. He’s running his own Big Brother program out of the locker room right now. Why not make it a full-time gig?

Ass Crack Model
A week ago, this one wasn’t even on the radar. But after his performance on Sunday, it’s pretty clear he’s got what it takes.


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