Golf Goddess Paige Spiranac Attempts Happy Gilmore Drive, Loses An Article Of Clothing In The Process

SO GODDAMN CUTE. I’m convinced that anything Paige Spiranac does is just *ThE CuTeSt*. Hit a mammoth drive 350 yards? Cute. Snort when she laughs? CUTE. Kill my entire family in cold blood with a 3-wood? ADORABLE. Paige, you can do no wrong and this may have been the shittiest, sorriest, most pathetic fucking attempt at a Happy Gilmore swing I’ve ever seen, but GOD DAMN you make it look Heaven sent.

Granted, Chubbs Peterson is rolling in his grave right now after you pissed all over his ashes, but you pissing on Chubbs’ ashes would be the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.

Check out this cutesie outfit.

Paige, lying that you were bullied when you were younger to empower our youth is so fucking enchanting.

Cactus cup? UHHHHHH DELIGHTFUL.

What’s cuter than one Paige Spiranac? FOUR Paige Spiranacs LOLZ!

Don’t really know what’s going on here, but don’t need to. IT’S LOVELY.
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Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.