Because drinking makes everything better and all the pain goes away. You have two choices for tonight.
A) Mock Draft Drinking Game
Basically, just create your own mock draft and anytime one of your selections is incorrect, you drink. It’s a disastrous idea, and I don’t even condone thinking about trying it out. The mere fact that professional mock drafts are almost always completely wrong should be a clear-cut sign that this is a horrible, horrible idea. And just think about what happens when there’s a trade. I tried this for the 2012 NFL Draft, didn’t get one prediction right after the fourth overall selection, and was almost comatose by the 19th overall selection. But, if you’re into that sort of thing, go for it.
B) Create Your Own Drinking Game
There are so many consistencies and easy-to-predict occurrences during every draft that it should be fairly simple. I’ll even make my own.
• The terms ‘great upside’, ‘character issues’, ‘health concerns’ or ‘red flags’ are used (drink twice if any of these are used to describe Nerlens Noel)
• Any prospect is described as having ‘a chip on their shoulder’
• Fran Fraschilla is brought out to describe a Euro prospect
• Bill Simmons makes any reference to the Celtics outside of their own pick
• Jalen Rose brings up his draft day suit
• Jay Bilas says ‘wingspan’
• Jay Bilas describes any player as his ‘best player available’ or ‘best player on the board’
• David Stern is booed
• David Stern’s last season or last draft is mentioned
• ESPN cuts to a shot of a player on the phone
• The James Harden trade is mentioned
• The Lakers are mentioned
• Any trade happens
• Any player is described as ‘a project’
• Ben McLemore is described as being ‘passive’
• Shabazz Muhammed’s age is talked about
Chug absinthe if:
• Adam Silver is cheered, because that means you are officially watching the second round of the NBA Draft and it’s time to get rowdy.
Check out more of Tucker's work at Slim Charles Barkley. He's a fun read.