Sports
by Reggie Noble on October 1, 2012

One drink for each
• First down
• Punt
• Replay
• Commercial break
• Promotion for upcoming ESPN program
• Flashback to last Monday
• Reference to the normal referees
• Time Jay Cutler smirks
• Update on Matt Forte’s health

Two drinks for each
• Turnover
• Pass interference call
• Allusion to Dez Bryant’s off-field troubles
• Reminder Cutler just had a kid
• Time the stadium is called “Jerry’s World”
• Bad call (hey, the normal guys aren’t perfect either)
• Discussion of Devin Hester’s greatness
• Time Tony Romo’s place among current quarterbacks is debated

Three drinks for each
• Challenge
• Touchdown
• Field goal
• Gratuitous shot of a Cowboys cheerleader
• Time Dallas’ defensive line is lauded
• Brandon Marshall first down catch
• Anyone on your Facebook feed details the game’s fantasy football implications
• Time someone brings up Mike Ditka

Finish your drink if
• Romo has a rushing touchdown
• Hester has a return touchdown
• Cutler murders one of his offensive linemen
• The refs get a standing ovation
• Jason Witten catches a touchdown
• Brian Urlacher causes a turnover

Expert's pick: Dallas 24, Chicago 16

Pass-Out Percentage: 17 percent