by Reggie Noble on September 30, 2013

One drink for each:

  • Reminder of Bountygate
  • Drew Brees completion
  • Ryan Tannenhill pass attempt
  • Commercial break
  • Time you realize you hate one, or both of these teams
  • Time Jon Gruden says something positive
  • Shot of an overly passionate Saints fan

Two drinks for each:

  • Piece of effusive praise for Brees
  • Piece of effusive praise for Sean Payton
  • Replay of THE BUTT FUMBLE – God, ESPN loves the Buttfumble
  • Beer commercial
  • Reminder Jimmy Graham is a former basketball player
  • Discussion about the Dolphins turnaround
  • Field goal
  • Time you realize the old ‘Fins logo was better
  • Awkward promo for another program

Three drinks for each:

  • Run of 20-plus yards
  • Pass play of 30-plus yards
  • Shot of a team owner
  • Touchdown
  • Turnover
  • Field goal
  • Shot of Tannenhill’s wife
  • Non-rhetorical question posed by Who Dat Nation

Four drinks for each:

  • Inch taller than Zack Thomas you are
  • You wish you had Cameron Wake’s haircut

Chug your beer for each:

  • Safety
  • Time one team opens up a 10-point lead
  • Onside kick
  • Even remotely negative thing Gruden says
  • Time Mike Wallace is worth the money