March Madness means it’s socially acceptable to spend 13 consecutive hours on your couch watching games. That part is wonderful. There are, however, some collateral damages that come with a full day of hoops. The most identifiable of all of these is enduring commercials that make you want to scream with rage.

The new broadcasting format allows the viewer to jump around from game to game, but even the most trigger-happy flipper will still incur the inhumanity of these lame ads. The problem is exacerbated online, where a different crop of spots repeatedly assault those who are slow with the Boss Button.

March Monotony
This one appeared on our radar before the tournament even tipped off. It should have been a sign of things to come. Studio analyst Greg Anthony asks if it is “March Monotony” or “March Madness.” Why? Well, there’s no good reason. Not a single person in the history of man has said “March Monotony.” This is far and away the worst of the bad lot because its premise is the most pointless.

House Arrest
Props to Charlie Sheen for capitalizing on his bad-boy image. This one really isn’t so bad. It’s just the repetition. That and it gets a little creepy when he asks the sultry model what he gets for bad behavior. Considering his history with pay-for-sex enthusiasts, he should probably already know the market.