Sports
by Reggie Noble on October 17, 2012

In the interest of honoring booze and baseball – our nation’s two greatest pastimes – here’s a drinking game for your eight hours of uninterrupted viewing. You’ll thank us later for the sure hangover.

One drink for any:

  • Hit
  • Walk
  • Strikeout
  • Pitch out of the strike-box graphic ruled a strike
  • Terrible “Cougartown” promotion
  • Yankees hit
  • Full count
  • Pitching change

Two drinks for any:

  • Double play
  • Double
  • Two-out baserunner
  • Mention of Matt Holliday’s takeout slide on Marco Scutaro
  • Time the Yankees’ postseason hitting slump is discussed
  • Assertion that Raul Ibanez is the most clutch player in, like, ever
  • Gratuitous shot of Alex Rodriguez either in the dugout or on the field
  • Shot of Justin Verlander
  • At-bat by a player that, despite looking incredibly overweight, is a superstar

Three drinks for any:

  • Triple
  • Stolen base
  • Sacrifice bunt
  • Infield-fly ruling
  • Replay of Holliday’s takeout slide on Scutaro
  • Shocking stat delivered about Robinson Cano’s putrid postseason stats
  • Shot of Justin Verlander without a big lipper
  • Replay of Jose Valverde surrendering the game-tying home run to Ibanez

Four drinks for any:

  • Home run
  • Suicide squeeze

Finish your drink if:

  • A-Rod has sex with a fan in the dugout
  • You think the announcer is secretly rooting for the other team
  • Craig Sager is dressed like a reasonable human being
  • The Yankees score a run

 

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