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Madness: The winners and losers of the first weekend

By / 03.25.13

Cheerleaders

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Who were the winners and losers from the tourney’s first weekend? Take a look.

Winner: B1G

Christian Watford block

CBS




With the exception of Wisconsin, the B1G conference performed quite admirably in the first two rounds going 10-3. Michigan and MSU dominated their games winning by an average of 13 points. Indiana and Ohio State had tough Sunday games but prevailed. Illinois had a chance against tourney favorite Miami but a questionable call late sent them packing. All in all, their conference RPI withstood the test unlike, you know, the Mountain West.


Loser: Charles Barkley

Charles Barkley

Turner




This sums up Barkley’s awful analysis which included busting on the B1G over and over.


Winner: Dunk City




Florida Gulf Coast is the talk of the tournament with their high-flying Harlem Globetrotter style of basketball. They became the first 15 seed to move on to the Sweet 16. They also became the first team to do the chicken dance since, well, ever.


Loser: Jim Boeheim’s water bottle skills



Winner: Marquette



The Golden Eagles should be at home, should be thinking about what their season could have been. Instead, late game heroics by Vander Blue and some awful shot selection by Butler has allowed them to advance. This has 1983 N.C. State written all over it.


Loser: Big East

John Thompson III

Turner




What a complete disaster from the Big East. Disappointing losses by Pitt and Notre Dame were nothing compared to Georgetown’s brutal performance against FGCU. JT3 is on the hot seat and deservedly so. Since going to the Final Four in 2007, the Hoyas have dropped five straight to double digit seeds. Just brutal.


Winner: Dancing Buzz Williams



Buzz can dance.


Loser: Marshall Henderson



The Marshall Henderson show’s officially over after a disappointing loss to La Salle Sunday night. An ending that saw him riding the pine in the game’s final sequences. He showed his dissatisfaction by giving the crowd a double middle-finger salute.

Stay classy bro!



Winner: Sparty



Sparty disagreed with a flagrant foul against Memphis. He showed his disapproval quite marvelously.


Loser: Crying Ginger

GIFULMINATION/Turner

GIFULMINATION/Turner




Ginger’s still don’t have souls.


Winner: Allie LaForce

Yea, raising the roof is very 1990s but I think we can all agree it’s quite adorable when Allie LaForce does it. Sadly, we won’t be seeing more of LaForce this tournament. CBS has decided viewers want more Rachel Nichols and Tracy Wolfson.

Booo!



Winner: Mitch McGary



The freshman’s outstanding 21 point 14 rebound game was highlighted by this devastating pick.


Loser: Olapido




Winner: The Landshark



La Salle’s the Cinderella team no one’s talking about. With wins over Kansas State and Ole Miss, the Explorers have a legit shot of advancing to the elite eight against Witchita State. Also, they do the running landshark which all the kids are talking about these days.


Loser: Craig Sager’s bracket tie



Winner: Aaron Craft



More and more, Aaron Craft resembles a white Mateen Cleaves. A guy with a broken jumper but the will and determination of a champion.


Loser: This person’s ankle

Broken ankle

Turner




You can’t unsee this.


Winner: Ram Boy

ram boy

Turner




Seriously, this kid was in the NY Times over the weekend. He’s the fan of the day of the week of the year.


Loser: Sad Hippie

sad hippie

Turner




Sad Cal hippie is sad.


Winner: Shocker girl

Witchita State shocker

Turner




That’s not how you do the shocker but for now, we’re willing to let it slide.


Loser: Brad Stevens

Brad Stevens meltdown

CBS




Known as one of the best in-game coaches, Stevens had a bit of a meltdown late against Marquette. It was compounded by some awful shots by Rotnei Clarke and Andrew Smith.


Winner: Oregon cheerleaders



This one needs no explanation.



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A. Isaac
About A. Isaac... A. Isaac is the Senior Editor of Guyism.com. He's a buffet connoisseur and regularly eats until he passes out. He also advocates pushing over children to catch foul balls.

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