Luis Suarez Is Officially BANNED Because He Can’t Stop/Won’t Stop Biting People

Is it really that hard to not bite people? If Suarez was a competitive eater and accidentally started chomping into the guy next to him…okay that’s still bizarre but it’d be slightly more understandable. But with soccer? I dunno guys, I’m not much of a sports expert but I’m preeettyyy sure you don’t use your teeth at all. Since Suarez has clearly been watching too much Walking Dead on Netflix, he’s been officially banned for the next four months.

” Uruguay forward Luis Suarez will miss the national team’s next nine matches and is banned for the next four months from football-related activities as punishment from FIFA for biting Italy defender Giorgio Chiellini during the final match of the World Cup group stage for both sides.”

Via Bleacher Report

Not only is he banned, but he’s been ordered to pay a fine of $100,000. As for Liverpool, they released the following statement:

” Liverpool Football Club will wait until we have seen and had time to review the FIFA Disciplinary Committee report before making any further comment.”

So all those times your parents smacked you around for biting the other kids on the playground? Yeah, it wasn’t because biting people is annoying/unsanitary/wtf. It was so that on the off chance you became a professional soccer player you wouldn’t get your ass pounded for biting other players. Not bad advice in my book.

[H/T Bleacher Report]