Few athletes captivate audiences like Lionel Messi and few audiences allow themselves to be captivated like Ray Hudson. So when the Barcelona star completed his hat trick Sunday against Malaga, the boisterous commentator just lost it.

As soon as Messi's left-footed poke found the net, Hudson released a primal scream. After a few seconds to compose himself, he let loose a stream-of-conciousness ballad for the ages, along the way comparing Messi to Dr. Spock, who is “out of his Vulcan mind.” But it didn't end there.

“[He's] running like he's got a food mixer down his shorts," Hudson said of Messi in one of the most creative, if not disturbing, similes spun in recent memory.

[via]