Once upon a time, three of the most iconic and beloved sports heros of all time -- Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, and Bo Jackson -- lent their names to one of the best Saturday morning cartoon shows of the 1990s: "ProStars." When I was six or seven, I ate that shit up, running around the playground screaming "Bo knows" while pegging kids with kickballs and even convincing my mother to get the ProStars cereal when it first came out. If you're a male Gen Y-er between the ages of 22 and 29, there's a good chance you remember the show fondly.
The biggest egomanic in NBA history, LeBron James, must also have halcyon memories of the show. Taking a page from the "ProStars" playbook, King James has created an animated TV show about... well, himself. Sorta.
Aptly called, "The LeBrons," the show is cast with four family memebers and a lion. The whole thing feels very "Boondocks"-esque. LeBron does voiceover work in the show for the character "Business." It's directed by Canadian animator Ido Gondelman, who told StarPulse, "He always made himself available when I needed to talk to him, and to share whatever he could about his childhood and growing up." Both LBJ and his manager, Maverick Carter, have producer credits on the show, which will be distributed on YouTube. It has all the themes you'd expect of a Saturday morning cartoon: How to deal with bullies, how to turn the other cheek, and whatnot. Whatever. It's absolutely awful, perhaps even the worst cartoon in animation history. It's also a product placement bukkake-palooza (nice Beats Headphones and Bing Search, LeBron) and pales in comparison to "ProStars" in every way imaginable. This dick stroke of a TV show is all about Lebron and no one else.
And here's the thing: A show like this would have tons of cross-generational appeal if done correctly. Both young kids and nostalgic twentysomethings would eat up a modern version of "ProStars." But "The LeBrons" ain't it.
What made "ProStars" so awesome was the dynamic between three sports superstars. Gretzky firing off slap shots, Jordan throwing down jams, Bo Jackson knocking out grand slams all to fight crime. Would it have hurt for LeBron to recruit a few fellow athletes for a cartoon show? The Score suggests Alexander Ovechkin and Adrian Peterson as co-stars. I kinda have to agree that Ovie would be a solid choice for the token hockey player. Maybe throw an untouchable baseball giant like Derek Jeter in the mix? Or a steroids-free slugger like Pujols (if you believe him)? Basically anyone from the NFL will suffice as long as they're not named "Chad Ochocinco," simply because being a fame hoe doesn't mean you should be immortalized as a cartoon character. Let us know who you'd cast in "ProStars II" in the comments. In the meantime, scroll down to torture yourself by watching the first episode of "The LeBrons."
I miss this..