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“What a gorgeous day at the park! Denise can you pass the peanu”–BOOM A FUCKING BAT TO THE FACE! “I paid $1,000 for front row seats and I’m not even paying attention to the gam”–WHAM A MOUTHFUL OF HICKORY WOOD RIGHT IN THE CHOMPERS! “Maybe after the game I’ll head to Bed, Bath and Beyond. I don’t know, I don’t know if i’ll have enough tim–WHAMMIE A LOUISVILLE SLUGGER STRAIGHT TO THE GULLET! “I hope my grandsons like the mittens I knit the–” STOP MATT YOUR JOKES SUCK YOUR PARENTS DON’T LOVE YOU HOW DARE YOU MAKE FUN OF A GRANDMOTHER TAKING A BAT TO THE DENTURES SHES GETTING RECONSTRUCTIVE JAW SURGERY (lol) YOU SICK FUCK.
P.S. Get a load of the this dude’s defense tactic. The absolute last man on the planet I’d follow into battle.
[h/t Barstool]