Nothing Ruins A Relaxing Day At The Ball Park Like A Flying Bat To The Dome Piece, AMIRIGHT Lady?

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“What a gorgeous day at the park! Denise can you pass the peanu”–BOOM A FUCKING BAT TO THE FACE! “I paid $1,000 for front row seats and I’m not even paying attention to the gam”–WHAM A MOUTHFUL OF HICKORY WOOD RIGHT IN THE CHOMPERS! “Maybe after the game I’ll head to Bed, Bath and Beyond. I don’t know, I don’t know if i’ll have enough tim–WHAMMIE A LOUISVILLE SLUGGER STRAIGHT TO THE GULLET! “I hope my grandsons like the mittens I knit the–” STOP MATT YOUR JOKES SUCK YOUR PARENTS DON’T LOVE YOU HOW DARE YOU MAKE FUN OF A GRANDMOTHER TAKING A BAT TO THE DENTURES SHES GETTING RECONSTRUCTIVE JAW SURGERY (lol) YOU SICK FUCK.

P.S. Get a load of the this dude’s defense tactic. The absolute last man on the planet I’d follow into battle.

[h/t Barstool]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.