Welcome to Abdomogeddon. Here we can finally accomplish the goal of getting you a washboard that that is so fucking shredded, it can completely overshadow your inept social skills.
Here's our weekly video:
Legendary cameltoe if you stare long enough... Sorry, intenet porn has ruined me.
There are a few things you need to know about your quest in abdomination.
1. You Already Have Abs
Don't look at me like that, Bruce
Underneath those layers of cool ranch tacos and cinnamon toast crunch lays a set of reasonably good abs.
The truth about this is that you use your abs everyday. You use them to eat, you use them for sex, you use them to eat cool ranch tacos while having sex.
Look at that, you're so jacked and you didn't even know it. Keep scrolling down for the reality check…
2. Ab Lounges, Electromagnetic Belts, and Similar Products are Grade-A Bullshit.
99 times out of 100, the reason you do not have great abs is not because of some secret ab workout you've yet to discover.
When I was 13 years old I told my family that those electric ab-belts would never work. Later, they were sued for millions. This hindsight is proof, to me, that I was a young prodigal fitness genius. Or maybe, just maybe, that I had common sense.
The Ab-shredder X, Abdemonium 13, or Alex's Ab Alliteration Avalanche are all crap. There is NO piece of equipment you need to sculpt some great abs. Just two simple workouts I will show you below.
3. Abs Are Made in the Kitchen
I googled "hot girl in kitchen" and this came up. Just roll with it.
Fitness as a whole is about 70% diet and 30% training. Abs, however, are about 95% diet 5% workouts.
Don't believe me? Check out this homo-erotic picture of Drew Baye after a claimed 6 months without direct abdominal workouts.
*Swats gay thought away*
Still think you're diet is not important? You got to eat healthy stuff bro!
4. Minimize Your Ab Exercises to the Basics
Now that you know that you need to focus on your diet you can minimize your ab exercises to the 2 most effective ones.
Bicycle crunches- Rated the number one most effective ab exercise with a mean activity of 248%.
Captain's chair leg lifts - Named number 2 most effective with a mean activity of 212%.
Please don't become Hermanators...
Sweet 7lb 6oz baby Jesus...
Your body is not made to operate at 8% body fat. Our bodies are constantly striving for homeostasis/equilibrium. They want to be fat and stagnant, not lean and ripped.
Even if your diet is solid, you may have to break the mold by switching things up. Carb-cycling and having a "cheat meal" are great ways to keep your body guessing.
For those who do not know what carb-cycling is, here's an oversimplified version - Basically, that you will spend days fluctuating how many carbs you are eating. A pretty normal structure is 3 days of low-carbs (50-100Grams) and 2 days of high carbs (400Grams).
Use these tools to maintain a low body fat percentage.
That's all folks. That article was abdomadable.
See you next week, bros,
Alex Nerney - Certified Personal Trainer, Certified Nutrition Specialist, Lord of Broscience.