If you can’t get excited for tonight’s game, then we just feel sorry for you. Two AFC powerhouses will meet in Foxboro to decide playoff seeding, bragging rights, and which religion is the MOST correct. OK, maybe not the last thing, but it should be a hell of a game.

One drink for each
:

• First down

• Punt

• Replay

• Commercial break

• Promotion for upcoming ESPN program

• Flashback to last Monday

• Mention of the Tom Brady’s greatness
• Time Bill Belichick looks cranky
• Time Matt Schaub passes off play-action
• Time Rob Gronkowski’s injury is noted
• Time the Patriots huddle
• Mention of J.J. Watts’ unique skill set

Two drinks for each:

• Turnover
• Wes Welker reception
• Arian Foster run resulting in a first down
• Bad call
• Initial carry by any Patriot running back
• Time you hear the name Gary Kubiak
• Overhead shot of the stadium
• Mention of Bob Kraft
• Time the playoff picture is discussed

Three drinks for each
:

• Challenge

• Touchdown

• Field goal

• Tackle for a loss
• Time Brady’s place among current quarterbacks is dissected
• Play over 20 yards
• Anyone on your Facebook feed details the game’s fantasy football implications

• Time Jon Gruden refers to someone as “this guy”
• Andre Johnson touchdown

Finish your drink if
:

• The Patriots score a rushing touchdown
• Foster goes over 100 yards on the ground
• Someone scores a special-teams touchdown
• Either quarterback throws for over 200 yards
• Any team opens up a 14-point lead

Expert's pick: New England 26, Houston 23

Pass-Out Percentage: 76 percent