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Mustard Costume Turns On Kid During Race, Attacks His Pants

By 08.11.14

mustard-racer-pants

The Kansas City Royals hold a race on weekend home games which features ketchup, mustard and relish mascots. Named the Hot Dog Derby, the anything-goes affair is, frankly, likely responsible for the team’s unexpected success. The sabremetricians out there will never admit this because they are nerds and afraid of truth.

On Sundays, they let kids run in the race because, hey, something funny might happen.

And yesterday it sure did.

A kid lost his pants in the middle of the race.

Great going, kid. You’ve permanently disgraced the sacred office of Mustard. If you think his classmates are going to forget about this by the time school starts, you’re dead wrong.

Also, I have to imagine there are thousands of moms out there aghast they let these children run around while holding sharp objects. It’s like the Royals are turning their backs on every principle moms believe in.


Kyle Koster
About Kyle Koster... Whenever you read a blog and think, "this is something that didn't need to be on the internet," you can bet I am responsible for it. I left a promising career in actual journalism to make GIFS and watch sports. No regrets. Oh yeah, I talked to Justin Bieber once and it was OK. Send tips/tell me I suck: kylekoster@gmail.com or kyle@brobible.com
TAGSKansas City RoyalsMascotsPantsRaces

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