Because what other excuse do you have to drink on a Monday night?
One drink for:
- Every “back” Chris Berman says while a home run is exiting the ballpark
- Every time Berman refers to a participant by his nickname instead of his real name
- Every sign that says “hit it here” or has a bulls-eye drawn on it
- Every time someone comments on how “sweet,” “nice” or any variation of those words, it is that Robinson Cano has his father pitching to him
- Each time the announcers remind you that Robinson Cano is named after Jackie Robinson, whom the elder Cano played with
- Matt Kemp’s MVP potential is mentioned
- Cano’s MVP potential is mentioned
Also, choose a player in each round. For every home run they hit, down one drink.
Two drinks for:
- Every time a kid in the outfield drops a fly ball
- Each personalized “hit it here” sign
- Each time Josh Hamilton’s ridiculous performance at Yankee Stadium is mentioned
- Every time a ground ball is hit (double your drink time if it doesn't leave the infield)
- Each home run hit off of the foul pole
- Every time the Pittsburgh Pirates' surprising first half is mentioned
- Every gold ball home run
Finish your beer:
- If a player hits with his hat backwards, paying homage to Ken Griffey Jr.
- If a player hits any of the sponsored “hit it here” signs.
- If a player hits zero home runs in a round
- If “Call Me Maybe” is audible.
- If Mark Trumbo makes it out of the first round
Now, go watch glorified batting practice and get drunk. You have our blessing.