Sports
by Kyle Koster on May 8, 2014

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After many, many months of mock drafts, the actual NFL draft begins tonight at Radio City Music Hall. The fans lucky enough to be in attendance will be overserved and booing. You can do the same with the help of our handy drinking game. Bottom’s up.

One drink for any:

  • Use of the word “upside”
  • Use of the word “potential”
  • Time a commentator suggests picking for value not need
  • Non-skilled position player drafted – you’re going to get a nice early buzz
  • Comparison of a drafted player to a player already in the league
  • Trade
  • Mention of last year’s quarterback class
  • Time a team makes a pick in under three minutes
  • Shot of Johnny Manziel
  • Mention of Jadeveon Clowney’s work ethic

Two drinks for any:

  • Reference to a player’s performance at the combine
  • Audible cry from a drunk in the balcony
  • Pick after 10 in which Teddy Bridgewater is not selected
  • Time character issues are mentioned
  • Discussion of Sammy Watkins’ breakaway speed
  • Non-FBS is player drafted
  • SEC player taken in the 1st round
  • Commercial break
  • Skill position player taken
  • Time a media member tweets the pick before it’s announced
  • Mention of the “no fly zone”
  • Time Ha Ha Clinton-Dix’s name makes you laugh manically
  • Mention of a Carr brother

Three drinks for any:

  • Mention of a player’s “closing speed”
  • Discussing of a quarterback’s offensive system
  • Time you remember to Google Blake Bortles’ girlfriend
  • Street slang from Stuart Scott
  • Suit that isn’t black, brown or blue
  • Mike Evans highlight
  • Jon Gruden Grudenism
  • You recognize a player selected after the fifth round

Four drinks for any:

  • Claim that a player is a “coach on the field”
  • Soon-to-be dumped WAG at draftee’s side
  • Time an offensive or defensive end is referred to as a “bookend”
  • Time a team does not get their pick in on time
  • Time you want to mute Chris Berman (good luck with that)

Five drinks for any:

  • Time Mel Kiper’s hair is out of place
  • Ivy League player selected

[Image via Brian Spurlock/USA Today Sports]

Kyle Koster

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