Each week, there are countless things that makes us happy to be alive. There are, however, a few that don't. Hatorade is where we vent about those people, events, and memes that get our blood boiling. It's what Andy Rooney would have done if he knew about the Internet.
Brady Quinn (4 cups)
That pesky Tim Tebow worked his way into the conversation this week. Impressive, considering that it's late February and the world has a new muse in Jeremy Lin. The left-hander was the subject of a GQ piece penned by Mike Silver that relied heavily on quotes from the quarterback's coaches, opponents and teammates. Comments by Brady Quinn were quickly identified as the juiciest, thrusting the ex-Notre Dame gunslinger back into the national spotlight for the first time in a long, long while.
"We've had a lot of, I guess, luck, to put it simply," the Broncos backup told Silver, which is a fair point. But Quinn continued, questioning if the notoriously humble Tebow is authentic.
"If you look at it as a whole, there's a lot of things that just don't seem very humble to me. When I get that opportunity, I'll continue to lead not necessarily by trying to get in front of the camera but by praying with my teammates, you know?"
Embroiled in the immediate backlash, Quinn apologized to Tebow and claimed he'd been misrepresented. His comments, he assured everyone, in no way reflected his true feelings about his teammate.
Of course not.
People can question Tebow's abilities all they want. That's fine. As a professional football player, it's irresponsible not to hold him to the highest of standards. To question his faith, albeit indirectly, is another issue altogether. If Quinn is so focused on being a God-fearing leader himself, shouldn't he be proud and inspired of someone displaying the same principles he holds dear? Isn't there something about ignoring the speck in your neighbor's eye in the Bible?
Last I checked, Tebow didn't invite cameras to NFL games. They're kind of there already. When someone like him rightly or wrongly becomes the nation's most-scrutinized entity, they're going to focus on that athlete.
This tastes of sour grapes from Quinn, a player with previous experience existing in the suffocating bubble of attention. And we all know that those turn into whines.
So shut up and play, Brady. Or, more likely, just shut up.
Davonte Neal (3 cups)
The college recruiting process has become a farce and it's getting worse. Want a reminder? Familiarize yourself with the story of Davonte Neal, a four-star wide receiver from Scottsdale, Ariz. After a long-running power struggle with his father, Neal called a press conference at his elementary school on Tuesday. Nearly 600 students were pulled from class and patiently waited the recruit's big reveal. The only problem is that he didn't show up.
You see, Neal wanted to stick close to home and go to Arizona. His father wanted him to go to Notre Dame. It seems a decision, which the pass-catcher had delayed already, just couldn't be reached.
Later on in the day, Neal showed up to the school, asked to apologize to a bunch of classrooms and finally selected to play his college ball in South Bend. That part is actually kind of nice. What isn't is that the entire fiasco was completely unnecessary. Somewhere along the line, just signing on to play at a top-tier university wasn't enough. Instead of it being the culmination of untold hours of hard work and dreams, it became a platform for a 17- or 18-year-old to put on a show.
It's not as if these kids alone carry the yoke of responsibility. It's plausible they don't understand that it wasn't always like this. It's up to people with a sense of history to provide the obviously much-needed perspective. All too often, those voices of reason are noticably absent from the entire process.
I mean, think about it. Six hundred kids took a timeout from their education so they could be unwilling participants in a manufactured fiasco. Sure, they probably weren't on the precipice of discovering the cure for cancer in their second-grade classrooms, but come on. And then for Neal to not show up? Well, that's inexcusable.
Making yourself the center of attention means accepting an elevated level of responsibility. Want to be hot? Don't complain win the flame burns you.
It remains a mystery to me why so many college-bound kids out there are holding their matches so close to the kerosene.
Neal won't be the last of his peers to embarrass himself, but it's going to be hard to botch the process more severely than he did.