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The Great One Told Dustin Johnson To Chill With The Partying Or The Wedding To Paulina Is Off

By / 08.07.14

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Wow, who knew Wayne Gretzky was such a buzzkill?

Fox News reports that Wayne had a convo with Dustin Johnson months before the recent allegations became public, in which he basically told Dustin to chill out.

Sources tell FOX411 that the hockey great previously talked to Johnson – who is engaged to his 25-year-old model daughter, Paulina – cautioning him to clean up his act, or the wedding was off. We’re told that the family was aware of his penchant for partying, and that Wayne sought to be a positive influence, and offer help.

Dude, your daughter is a smoking hot party girl. Do you think she’s gonna settle down with some nerd accountant or something? Get real, Wayne.

On the other side of the coin, what the hell is Dustin doing? I enjoy partying, but not enough that I would potentially risk locking down one of the hottest chicks in the game. If Wayne came to me and gave me the “dude, chill” speech, I would become a nun. I’d be like a Mormon. Forget about cocaine, I wouldn’t even touch Coca-Cola.

I’m really impressed with Dustin’s commitment to partying. And by partying, I mean crippling drug addiction. If you can’t curb your behavior when your relationship with Paulina is hanging in the balance, you’ve got a LEGIT problem.

To make matters worse, I feel like now their wedding won’t have a bar, which will be super lame. Nobody wants to go to a wedding without a bar. That’s like going to a zoo without any animals. Dustin and Paulina, if you were planning on inviting me, I’d like to save you the trouble and politely decline. I appreciate the thought though.

Let’s check out some Paulina pics to remind Dustin what’s at stake here –

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TAGSDustin JohnsonPaulina Gretzkysorry for partyingWayne Gretzky
Brandon Cohen
About Brandon Cohen... Brandon Cohen was raised by Jew gypsies on the sleepy island of Manhattan, and went on to defy the odds by graduating from a four-year accredited university in Nashville, TN. He's a writer and aspiring street fight videographer. Back in 2008, Brandon talked to Amanda Bynes at a club in LA for over fifteen minutes.

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