Sports
by Alex Nerney on February 18, 2013

REMEMBER THE 6 MOST IMPORTANT PARTS OF GETTING RIPPED IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME:

1. Drinking 12 cups of water a day
2. Only drinking straight liquor and light beer
3. Going to the gym one time a week and doing something you enjoy
4. Eating 20 grams of protein at every meal
5. Eating fruit and protein right when you wake up
6. Lifting weights AT LEAST three times a week based on your fitness goals (leaning out or gaining mass).

If you are looking to ONLY put on mass before spring break, please refer here:

GAINING MASS
Take anabolic steroids, or, if you'd like to avoid cardiac arrest at age 35, do this:

If you have been following the program, you should be eating everything you possibly can within the above 6 rules.  You should also be stuffing your face at your schools cafeteria and eating lots of sugar carbohydrates after you workout.

If you are doing this and STILL not gaining muscle quickly, there is one final trick that will still bulk your scrawny body up. And you're going to hate it.
It's been called: The Nighttime Rape of your Metabolism. Here is how it works: Before you go to bed every night, make yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Then, set your alarm to wake you up in the middle of the night. Get up, eat that thing, and go back to sleep.

It's simple, but what we are doing is breaking your nightly fast in half and forcing your body to store some calories. It's not easy or fun, but this isn't amateur hour, you're training for fucking spring break.

Also, if you have gained a small gut while doing this program, do not sweat it. The final week is a cleanse that will cut you right up if you need it.

LEANING OUT
So last week we cut out simple sugars from your diet, if you did not read it, they are:

-Sodas
-Sugars
-Lemonade
-White Bread
-Pasta
-Pizza
-Candy
-Cake
-Gatorade
-Ice Cream
-Most Cereals
-White Rice

The next thing to do is to cut out beer. I left it in the program because I knew you were not going to go without beer pong for 5 weeks. That being said, beer causes more damage than you know. It does lower testosterone, but even more important it adds tons of empty calories and carbohydrates to your diet that will not help you.

I will still allow straight shots, but they will get cut when we start the cleanse.

The last thing we are going to do is to minimize all carbohydrates. I do not want you to completely cut them out, simply cut them down. Examples are:

-Whole Wheat Bread
-Oats/sugar free oatmeal
-Brown Rice
-Whole Wheat Pasta
-Yams
-Vegetables
-Beans (black, kidney, pinto)

The reason we are cutting out beer and minimalizing carbohydrates is because we need make your body more sensitive to insuline. This way your body will not be too shocked when the cleanse phase starts.

If you are feeling hungry or tired, go for almonds or any types of protein. Proteins are good for you, DO NOT FEAR THEM. When professional bodybuilders are cutting down for competitions, they eat more protein, not less!

Lastly, I wanted to thank you for the support on my book: “Fitness in College – A College Guy's Guide To Getting Ripped.” I have gotten a lot of positive reviews and appreciate all the purchases. I decided to make my own website to promote it. Here is a before and after picture of me as well, so you know I'm not just talking out my ass.

See you next week, Bros,
Alex Nerney – Certified personal trainer, certified nutrition specialist, Lord of Broscience.

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[Girls in bikini image via ShutterStock]