DeMatha Catholic High School, located in one of those DC fringe suburbs known for crabcakes, football, and the occasional joust (the official state sport of Maryland) is now making the press rounds for some heightened schoolboy nonsense. The football team, a relative powerhouse in the region and nationally ranked squad, will now have to play the season without five of its players after they decided to order some hookers to the team hotel room. 

Citing one of the players' parents, the Washington Post reports that following their season opening win at Hillside, North Carolina, the perps powered through 1:30 AM and 4:00 AM bed and hallway checks, then ordered prostitutes from a North Carolina call service. According to this parent, "some engaged in sexual activities with those prostitutes in a hotel room." In other words, no Holden Caulfields.

Two players have left the school, two are awaiting some sort of appeal spiel, and one has an upcoming disciplinary hearing. Sounds like a Friday Night Lights plotline gone wrong. Damn shame. 

[H/T, S/G: Deadspin]