After six weeks in the BroBible Fantasy League, it’s safe to say that J.Camm should stick to crude humor and womanizing because he sure as hell doesn’t know how to put together a fantasy roster. Injuries and underperformance has thrown his 1-5 team into the basement. Just so he doesn’t feel like a complete jackass, he’s joined in the cellar by GazelleTank, who finally won a game this week. With GazelleTank on the way up, J.Camm might be solo in last place soon enough. Then again, I think AlwaysBeChaying will finish in last given that he started Andre Johnson and Brandon Jacobs (both injured) last week. No sorority sister excuse can justify his poor form in recent weeks. If something like this happened in any of your leagues, we’d recommend expelling the person for next season. As always, you can following our league at the ESPN site.
J.Camm: Yes, my team is the worst in the league. But that's only because I drafted the worst players. And who's f*cking fault was that? If you want to know the truth, it's probably the fault of my parents, my boss, or other people more successful than me. Yet, as shitty as those people have made my life and my team, I will hold my head up high. And not entirely because that's what failures with a false sense of self and delusions of grandeur do. Oh no, I hold onto hope because I'm getting Carson Palmer and that f*cking ging is going to be my savior. My red-bearded Christ.
GazelleTank: Dear God, I won?!?!?! I actually won and it took only SIX games to do so. It's probably gonna be a while before I win again so as of now J. Camm and myself will be in the races for whose team will suck less. I'm putting the chips in my favor but that's just me being an ass. Nonetheless I'll give my thanks to ABChay and his amazing line-up changes, or lack there of, made with the help or the sororities he's been lurking at during the Tailgate Tour. Let’s Go Wranglers, baby.
AlwaysBeChaying: I have nothing to say... My whole team is injured, and the gamble I took this week starting Grossman over Flacco backfired on me horribly. What on earth was I thinking keeping Big Ben in there anyways?? F*CK! In other news, the Jets are back on top (.500) and Rex is back to promising me a Super Bowl this year!
Mr. T: You do realize that you can pick up guys on waivers to fill a lineup. It’s not like you’re MacGyver and have to put a starting lineup together with a piece of rope, three Tic-Tacs, and your own urine. On my own team’s sideline, this week will probably be the best chance anyone has of beating me all season since McCoy and Freddy Jackson are on the bye. Thankfully I’m playing GazelleTank, so the undefeated season still has great potential.
Laces Out Dan: A faceoff with the Baby Rhino couldn't come at a better time. I'm working off three straight wins, jumping up to third while TBR is falling apart, second-guessing management decisions, and throwing blame around. Should be an easy road to 5-2.
Marble Ryan: I really don't care what happened last week, because I finally get to start my boy Tebow in week 7. All Tim Tebow does is score fantasy points... check the box scores! DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THE LIBERAL MEDIA! TEBOW'S MECHANICS ARE FINE! HE WILL SMITE THEE!
AG: Added two players to the lineup this week: Baltimore kicker Billy Cundiff and the Bengals' defense/special teams. Total points between the two of them? 38. Made all the difference.