Dude In Pontoon Boat Blows Air Cannon In Zach Johnson’s Backswing, Scares The Shit Out Of Him

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HAHAHA. With the exception of Dan Bilzerian, there’s no dude on the planet I’d rather turn up with than the shitfaced dude on a plantoon boat in Illinois shooting off an air cannon, spitting in the face of a “gentleman’s game”, and basically pissing on the ashes of Chubbs Peterson. This dude is totally my guy. I can’t count how many times I’ve yelled “cock” in my partner’s backswing but I can tell you I don’t get invited to play golf anymore. I would love to hunt this dude down and exchange old war stories about chicks, drinking, and ruining stiff old-timers days on the course but I’m 103% convinced he passed out at the wheel and plummeted down a waterfall. RIP Drunk Air Cannon Dude. Have fun duking it out with Chubbs in Heaven. Something tells me you’d have the upper hand, because he only has one.

When you slide off her panties and she got a 70’s porno bush…

This guy. Zero fucks to give.

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[h/t For the Win]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.