The man, 25, was arrested on a drunken driving charge after officers found him with his head on his arm in his 2014 Chevrolet Cruze at Sunoco, 3525 S. Telegraph Road, at about 2:30 a.m. Nov. 3.
An employee called police to say the car had been there for about 90 minutes. He had approached the car and saw the man apparently sleeping.
The man woke up when officers arrived, and one reached in and turned off the ignition. The car already was in park.
The man appeared confused and disoriented. His speech was slurred, his eyes were watery and bloodshot and he smelled of alcohol. He said he was “drunk,” he had “a lot” of alcohol and urinated on himself.
Clocking in with a blood-alcohol level of .24, the dude far exceeded the state’s legal limit.
But, as he pointed out, it wasn’t REALLY his fault.
While he was being booked, he said he drank so much because he was upset that the University of Michigan’s football team lost 29-6 at Michigan State University the day before. He said he also was upset with the play-calling of Offensive Coordinator Al Borges, whose Wolverines rushed for a negative-48 yards, the worst ground performance since the school started playing football in 1879.
Better hope he draws a sympathetic judge. Or anyone who has seen Borges' offense.
[H/T: Press and Guide]