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Cristiano Ronaldo Scores Crucial Goal, Becomes Newest American Hero

By 06.26.14

The United States failed to gain a result against Germany, but advanced to the knockout stages thanks large in part to this crucial goal scored by Cristiano Ronaldo.

Leave it the most polarizing player in the world to break our hearts in one match, only to repair them in the next. We hated you until we loved you, Ronaldo. Please come visit our country any time you please to eat greasy food and sweep our women off their feet.

As an act of penance for our immature cracks about your hair, clothes and throwing skills, here is a picture of your girlfriend.


Congratulations on winning at life.

Kyle Koster
About Kyle Koster... Whenever you read a blog and think, "this is something that didn't need to be on the internet," you can bet I am responsible for it. I left a promising career in actual journalism to make GIFS and watch sports. No regrets. Oh yeah, I talked to Justin Bieber once and it was OK. Send tips/tell me I suck: kylekoster@gmail.com or kyle@brobible.com
TAGSCristiano RonaldoGermanyGhanaPortugalUSAWorld Cup

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