Chad Johnson doesn’t need the money that comes with an NFL contract. He’s fiscally responsible, you guys. But that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be plying his trade on gridirons across the country this upcoming fall.
In fact, we, the fans, demand a team take a chance and sign him up. We simply must be entertained.
Johnson hasn’t played since 2011, when he caught 15 balls for the New England Patriots. The following year, his time with the Miami Dolphins came to a very public end as he was cut by Joe Philbin on HBO’s “Hard Knocks.” We waited with bated breath for him to sign on somewhere else, but the time never came.
And it’s too bad, because the league needs another big-personality wide receiver.
Since last appearing in the league, Johnson has been working tirelessly on his body. His on-field performance is just one of the reasons he should get another chance.
Here are a few more:
Crazy Touchdown Dances
We are bereft of truly creative end-zone celebrations. Johnson’s all-eyes-on me routines only get better with time. A quick refresher course:
Yes, more of that, please.
FIFA Players Need a Break
Chad’s as skilled at futbol as he is football. His daily decimation of noobs on the soccer videp game is legendary. He’s singlehandedly crushing the confidence of players worldwide. Perhaps it’s time he shows a little mercy.
More Photos Like This
No athlete wakes up earlier than this dude. He’s intent on catching the worm. More waking hours provide him with greater opportunity to hit up Black Friday sales and fast food joints before the morning rush. The resulting TwitPics speak for themselves. A new city would afford him the chance to make new friends.
An athlete having his own news network is revolutionary. A comeback that saw him become an embedded journalist in the locker room would be one of the most compelling story lines in sporting history. It might not work out so well, but hey, that’s beside the point.
To Irritate Skip Bayless
We support any endeavor that will make the ESPN carnival barker more miserable. And so should you.