Sports
by Kyle Koster on March 31, 2014

opening-day-drinking-game

Baseball is back. Drinking never went away. Let’s combine the two and make this the best Opening Day you won’t remember.

Quick, to the game before I accidentally quote another Pitball song.

One (1) drink for every:

  • Base-hit
  • Run
  • Strikeout

Two (2) drinks for every:

  • Home run
  • Error
  • Double play
  • Botched hit-and-run
  • Instance of creepy camera work to find babes in the bleachers
  • Comment about insane contracts signed in the offseason
  • Discussion of the Yasiel Puig situation
  • Announcer claiming to love ballpark food
  • Kid in crowd picking nose
  • Lame joke that a player who is 1-for-1 is batting 1.000 on the year

Three (3) drinks for every:

  • Announcer actually eating ballpark food on-air
  • Suicide squeeze
  • Out recorded past the fifth inning of a no-hitter
  • Triple
  • Steal
  • Successful hit-and-run
  • Intentional walk
  • Comment by announcer about how good it is that baseball’s back

Four (4) drinks for every:

  • Reference to the World Baseball Classic (be careful)
  • Overblown praise for Derek Jeter
  • Mention of Bryce Harper
  • Use of the phrase “flashing the leather”
  • Allusion to the use of bunting as a decoration
  • Time Stephen Strasburg’s pitch count is discussed
  • Overly theatrical strike three call from an umpire
  • Blown call by an umpire

Chug a beer for every:

  • Bench-clearing brawl
  • Manager or player ejection
  • Inside-the-park home run

[Image via Charles LeClaire/USA Today Sports]

Kyle Koster

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