There's no chance she'll be schackled by poverty in a state with a wretched education system with a name that sounds perfectly suited for a strip joint in Tuscaloosa. Why, Krimson Tyde could grow up to be president one day (of the Alabama Crimson Tide Female Boosters Association).
From AL.com:
Summer and Steven Steele had a new baby boy on Dec. 17 and they named him Krimson Tyde.
WAIT WHAT? THIS IS A BOY? YOU NAMED A BOY KRIMSON? May God have mercy on your soul. May Bear Bryant smote you down with his steely gaze. May Nick Saban shit on your face and call you a bad person. May the field of Bryant–Denny Stadium by sowed with salt and lie fallow for 1,000 years. May the entire species of elephant vanish from the face of the earth. I mean, KRIMSON. For a boy? Fuck Alabama fans. Fuck these people so damn hard.
[H/T UPROXX]
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