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50 Cent Blamed His Terrible First Pitch on Excessive Masturbation

By 06.04.14


50 Cent’s terrible first pitch before a New York Mets game last week was either an example of terrible coordination or a clever publicity stunt. The fact that the rapper is still taking about the incident suggests it might be the latter.

During a Reddit AMA yesterday, Fiddy shed some light on what happened that fateful evening in Flushing.


Oh. The ol’ “I beat it too much” excuse. Always a classic.

Blaming the throw on a relatively recent masturbation injury doesn’t exactly make the situation better. It just raises more questions. Like, is 50 Cent so hard up for the female touch that he needs to pleasure himself to the point of longterm harm? Will he now be forced to hold the microphone in his right hand from now on? Is Tommy Jackoff surgery on the horizon?

Luckily for us, we’re bound to learn more about the Toss Heard Around the World. At this point, it’s still the sports story of the year.

[H/T: Extra Mustard]

Kyle Koster
About Kyle Koster... Whenever you read a blog and think, "this is something that didn't need to be on the internet," you can bet I am responsible for it. I left a promising career in actual journalism to make GIFS and watch sports. No regrets. Oh yeah, I talked to Justin Bieber once and it was OK. Send tips/tell me I suck: or
TAGS50 Centfirst pitchesMasturbationMLB

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