Why should you take them up on their offer? Let us count the ways.
Some benefits of playing fantasy football are self-evident. There's the thrill of crafting a high-scoring team and the feeling of mental superiority that comes with predicting a goal-line touchdown for your vulture back.
But some are less apparent, including just how desirable balling out in fantasy makes you to the ladies. You show me a girl who says she doesn't get all hot and bothered by a LeSean McCoy owner and I'll show you a liar.
So, scientifically, just what is it about playing fantasy football that proves your worth to the ladies?
It shows you can make a shit load of money
The top-5 finishers in DraftKings’ biggest contest last weekend decided Antonio Brown was a good play, and they walked away with $60,000+. Want a shot at the same contest next weekend?
It shows you're decisive
Women love a guy who knows what he wants. They love the confidence that comes with picking up Zac Stacy on the waiver wire or starting Riley Cooper over Roddy White. Men of action will always have the edge over those who falter.
It shows you can commit
There's a chance that if you care this much about millionaires you don't know, you might possibly care about a family someday. Baby steps, of course. Baby steps.
It shows you can wake up before noon on Sundays
Do not underestimate the powerful signal you send to the world by arising early enough to check the injury report. It shows you'll do whatever it takes to get ahead in this world and that you'll sleep when you're dead.
It shows you think about the future
It's important to have a plan, even if it's a one-day plan to watch football. Carefully staggering your skill position players according to their bye weeks proves you have hopes and dreams on the horizon.
OK, enough reasons. We shouldn't have to convince you to win money. Sign up now.