Sports
by Thomas on March 21, 2013

This season's tournament is going to be Bro-tastic. It has more of our favorite schools than almost any before, including a school that is literally on the friggin beach. Yes, I am talking to you Florida Gulf Coast. You guys should have no trouble recruiting top tier talent when the view is a babe in a bikini sunbathing. That trumps everything else.

One of the best parts of the NCAA tournament is seeing the schools, like FGCU, that we have never heard of prior to today and their rocking mascots. Granted, some of these schools are lame and decided to go with a boring subdued mascot. But other schools' mascots are about as awesome as a eating box of pop rocks in a pool of Coke. No Gary Busey, not that kind of Coke.

So before you get all loco on me, here is the list of the 25 schools that are winning in life. But mainly, because of their awesome mascots.

25. Temple Owls

What can possibly be cooler than an angry owl? There was no way anyone thought this was a good idea as a mascot at first. Not until they saw the angry eyes.

24. Villanova Wildcats

Normally, I wouldn't include a mascot that 45% of the NCAA uses but Villanova turned their mascot into something from a Tim Burton film. Those teeth are so sharp, they could cut Kim Kardashian in half. Wait, check that. Kanye.

23. Syracuse Orange

Do you have the balls to call someone out for going to a school that couldn't come up with anything better than the color that nothing rhymes with, orange? Maybe you can make fun of the students but why make fun of an innocent looking mascot? That dude is a giant Orange.

22. Iona Gaels

What is a Gael? Besides being a bad ass looking mother robber. That dude walks into my house and I am moving to South Washington.

21. Notre Dame Fighting Irish

 

I was never a big fan of the Irish. In fact, I don't like them at all. But if you dress up as a leprechaun, you get at least one vote on the list of most awesome mascots in the NCAA tourney. I am just saying.

20. Montana Grizzlies

 

If you thought a grizzly bear was cool, you haven't met Monte, the University of Montana's bandana wearing mascot. Oh, did I mention he rides a Harley too?

19. Western Kentucky Hilltoppers

At least one school from Kentucky will be dancing this year? Uh oh. Too soon?

18. Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders

Even though they are already back at home, the Blue Raiders deserve a mention on the list for Instagramming their mascot out like a street walker.

17. Butler Bulldogs

Bulldogs are cool but real life bulldogs are even better.

16. Colorado State Rams

I once bumped into a ram. I was driving down the Rocky Mountains, just outside of Denver, when I saw this beast standing alone on a rock in the middle of nowhere. How did he get up? Who knows? But he had a look that said, “Come at me bro!”

15. Albany Great Danes

Great Danes are huge and utterly ridiculous. Kind of like Albany's chances of winning the tournament. Sorry guys, maybe next year. In the NIT.

14. Wisconsin Badgers

Do Badgers really attack humans? I heard a story where this pesky little badger took out an entire camp of people in the woods somewhere outside of Wisconsin. Turns out it wasn't a badger, it was a bear. But still.

13. Valparaiso Crusaders

Crusaders love to do one thing, crusade. This mascot looks like he has been around the crusade a time or two.

Click below to see the Top 12 2013 NCAA Tourney Mascots

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12. Wichita State Shockers

Come on now. Don't act like you weren't thinking about this one all day. The Shockers? Really? They have a mascot for no other reason than to solidify the greatness in the name. It is a justification, if you will.

11. Illinois Illini

There is nothing, and I mean nothing, better than some good ole fashioned family racism.

10. UNLV Runnin Rebels

See what I mean?

9. Ole Miss Rebels

Come on and join the racism train Ole Miss. Say what you want about all three of these schools, racism aside, those mascots are pretty bad ass.

8. St. Mary's Gaels

Again with this Gaels business. Where did these schools come from and why haven't I heard of a Gael before? Thing looks a lot like the Ultimate Warrior, no?

7. North Carolina Tar Heels

You already know why they made the list, pure awesomeness.

6. Northwestern State Demons

The Northwestern State Demons have named their mascot Vic. I don't even want to know the story behind that one but I will ask it anyways. Does anyone know the story behind the name?

5. Michigan State Spartan

What's that now? You don't like the Spartans? That's OK, he doesn't like you either.

4. Miami Hurricanes

Sebastian is the king of the ducks. He is the greatest duck mascot of all time. That is, of course, except for one other duck to be named later.

(J.Camm's note: Hey, great commentary, too bad Sebastian is not a duck. He's a FUCKING IBIS, Thomas, you asshole. And, for your further edification, he's the mascot because Ibis' are said to be the last wildlife to leave before a hurricane and the first to return because, unlike ducks, they are fucking badass.)

 

3. Duke Blue Devils

I was never a fan of the Devils but when you tack on Blue, I am in. There is just something about a Blue Devil that says awesome.

2. Oregon Ducks

Sorry Miami, this duck is just too incredible and too amazing to not be the top ranked duck mascot of all time. But he didn't make it to number one because… 

(J.Camm's Note: Don't apologize to us, you erroneous son of a bitch)

1. South Dakota State Jackrabbits

Nothing beats a jackrabbit. Nothing.

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