A couple of hours ago, I tweeted that I had seen the brilliant Lakers Bro GIF over 100 times. This was only a slight exaggeration. Even as we move into different territories on this site—let's face it, the original definition of the word "Bro" doesn't apply to everything we're writing about anymore—you still have to honor this classic Bro move.
And so, on a slow news day when there is borderline nothing happening on the Internet, I've decided to rank the 15 best things about this GIF. Enjoy this exhaustive list, and one more time for good measure, here are the Lakers Bros:
1. Let's address the obvious first: His sunglasses removal is flawless. Hand goes up, hand swoops down, fuckin' flawless. (Why is he wearing sunglasses indoors? Let's not go there.)
2. I've been struggling to think of what it reminds me of. I think it can best be described as an aggressive version of the classic David Caruso finishing move after a one-liner in "CSI:Miami"...
3. ... Mixed with that look your middle school baseball coach would give you if you fucked up a grounder, and he was forced to take off his Oakley's and yell at you.
4. Of course, it looks even better in reverse.
5. The eyebrows? Arched perfectly for the ultimate "Can you believe this shit?!" look. Steve Young, take notes, please.
6. You just KNOW that's a UNLV snapback he's wearing. The white hat, the red band—you have to place it with the Stacey Augmon-era cap that 90% of this country's Bros own. The supply of those hats must be so depleted now. They must cost $200 a piece on eBay.
7. He grabs the package for maximum celebration. Gotta make sure the package is still there. Because once you realize it is, the celebration is even better.
8. Both guys are wearing matching Dwight Howard jerseys. A player who just joined the team that they're so pumped about, they probably bought the jerseys that day.
9. There's no sound on the GIF, and it'd be impossible to tell anyway, but you have to know that he delivered a devestating "Whoop!" after the shot.
10. They are sitting in, as best I can tell, $400 seats.
11. Neither of the two show no signs of having sat down anytime near the events of the GIF, despite sitting in aforementioned $400 seats.
12. The Bro's friend is completely oblivious to what's going down. Neither, actually, seem to have an idea of what kind of Internet fame they currently have. Deadspin may have tracked them down, but it's all kind of nonconclusive right now.
13. The older guy to the right is eating what appears to be a Bloomin' Onion.
14. The best supporting actor of the GIF? The guy in the purple tank behind the Bros. He also had a great celebration, and he's also seen grabbing his package, but it just wasn't his day to shine.
He had to get overshadowed. He's the Pete Best of the Internet today.
15. And, finally, the best for last: We just received this tip:
The 2 "Laker Bros" are my son & friend -2 high school seniors celebrating an 18th birthday ! An experience they'll never forget !
A story, we really, really hope, is forthcoming.